Here are some key points that I would advise you to concentrate on:

• Rosie values learning, she is always looking to expand her skills and develop her ability to learn. Imagine what you can achieve if you are always questioning things, and asking questions. By querying and trying new things, you will always keep evolving, finding new ways, stay curious and find routes others don’t go on. 
• You can be in both worlds. Rosie loved dancing and combat sports. You do you, you can do anything you want to do, the only thing that is holding you back is your belief in yourself. Stop caring what others think! Live life as you want! 

“And when I think about balance, I think about equal parts of everything, um or everything being on the same a level playing field. But when I think about harmony, I think about enough of each aspect, right? If we think about a chord in music, it’s not necessarily equal parts of every note. It’s ah It’s you know enough of each tone to make the sound that we want. And so it might not be equal parts of everything in your life. But as long as you have enough of each of your priorities, you’re going to have a more harmonious life. It’s going to feel better instead of trying to give 100% to everything. You just have to give enough to each thing.”

• BJJ is a great sport to try as it is very technical and has a steep learning curve. So by challenging us, and making us a true beginner again, it can attack our ego, and make us learn to be a ‘beginner again, and not an expert’. This can be a hard thing to learn and take on, but the humility it brings going through it, can be a massive mentality shift to a higher plane of thinking for you. 

“… the other way that you can kind of express yourself through jujitsu is what how how i perform jujitsu what does that say about me does that say that i’m timid and i’m scared does that say that i’m aggressive and confident does it say that i’m methodical and patient like what does my jujitsu actually say about me if I was to look if I’m looking as a third person looking in what what message am I sending you know and that’s something that I like to think about, like what does my performance say about me, almost even from like an intellectual or artistic perspective? you know, do I look like someone who’s very cerebral about my jujitsu, a do or do I look like an artist? There’s not necessarily a good or bad, but I think it’s kind of fun to think about, what what does my jujitsu say about me? “

• It is said that if you can coach someone to do something, or teach it to a five year old, you truly know the thing. Try teaching and instructing others, to see where your knowledge of it is poor or needs work, and you know where to work on your own training. 
• Rosie started looking forward to finding things she didn’t know – she used them as a chance to learn and grow her skills. She stopped taking it as a personal sttack on her ability, and used it as an ability to develop her skillset and become a better performer. Beat your ego and win a new skillset! 

“For me, training and competing is about expressing my core values. So, I have a core value that is one I like to stay curious about things, um instead of like, impose my opinion, for example, or impose a judgment.I also really value challenging myself and doing hard things. um And jiu-jitsu is definitely a way for me to express that. So then intrinsically, it becomes less about the outcome. just innately. The practice of jujitsu, the reason I do it has nothing really to do with the outcome. Do I want to be successful at it? Do I want to learn? Absolutely. But the main reason I do it is that expression of doing something hard, that expression of staying curious about something that is challenging. So when I focus on kind of the role it’s playing in my life instead of how I am defined on the mat, it becomes easier to worry less about am I good and enough? Am I good or bad? And more about, well, what does showing up say about me? what does What am I able to give every time I go to the mat? And I feel like it just continues to make me a better and better person, not only in jujitsu, but it kind of it it allows me to reinforce those values that I want to express everywhere in life, not only in jujitsu.”

• When you are training BJJ, look at what you want to achieve as an end goal. Do you want to become fitter, happier, more confident? Focus on what you are going to get from training, not from your results. One you can impact on, the other you can’t. There will always be a stronger, better, younger competitor etc. However, you can always develop your happiness, confidence, health etc. Focus on what you can change, and forget the rest! 
• You can be good at BJJ at any age, any weight etc. You just need to find a style of BJJ that works for you and your setup. You can learn new styles as you go. Stop comparing, and start training!  

“And I think that’s because we see action, we see that test as like this end point. And sometimes it can feel like a public failure is much bigger than private victories. And so if I go with a new partner and they see me fail, that’s going to feel a lot bigger because it feels like the stakes are higher. It’s a new person. They don’t know me. They just know this experience they had with me. And if I fail, then that defines me. It feels big, right? But the truth is,a public failure or taking action, taking a risk and failing is just another piece of the whole puzzle. It’s just another piece of those private successes and failures that we’ve had along the way. And I think we see, you know, like preparation, mindset, training, nutrition, strength training, all of this leading up to this moment that’s going to determine, do we get to be confident? Do I get to believe in myself? Do I deserve this? But that’s not the truth. This thing that feels so big at the end is really just another piece of the puzzle that’s gonna continue to feed information on is the way I’m training working for me? is it Is it benefiting me or not? Is it helping or hurting? Do I need to change anything about the way I’m training? Do I need to change anything about my self-talk? Do I need to change anything about my nutrition? It all feeds at each other. So it’s not this linear path where we prepare, we prepare, we prepare, we test. It’s all fueling itself. So when we can look at that test, that that perceived failure as just another piece of information, another piece of data, another part of this experience, um and it’s kind of all together instead of this linear fashion, I think it becomes much easier to um utilize failure instead of be determined by it or or judged by it.”

• Live your story, Be glad you are training now and living your life now. Don’t live with regret, live with hope and what you can do next. We can’t all be winners, be the best or be prodigies. We can all train, learn and be happy though.    
• We all will have bad training days. We will all have sessions where we suck and are terrible, but that is the point of training, to learn, develop and grow. Look at each mistake as a chance to learn, to develop your skills, and ability to learn and develop your skills. It is a GOOD thing, you get to improve and fix and issue. You get a chance to get better! Embrace it!

“That’s when you really need that mindfulness. And the same is with mindset and mental training. It’s easy to talk about this on a podcast away from anything triggering, but can you practice those same mental habits when you’re met with a hard day, when you’re crying after training, when you feel like a failure, how quickly can you reframe? And it doesn’t mean that you are going to feel like it’s true immediately. It just means you’re able to take control of your conscious thoughts. and stop the floodgates of negativity. Even if you still feel defeated, even if you still feel inadequate, you’re able to start consciously rebuilding and consciously sending yourself the thoughts that are going to be most helpful to you. So it’s not only about how many times you get back up, it’s about how quickly you can start that process, and it will not and doesn’t have to feel completely true it just has to be helpful so i like to actually stay away from like positive and negative thoughts because sometimes if we’re like feigning positivity it can just feel fake right like if i’m in my car crying after training because i feel utterly worthless and like i failed at every exchange you can do it just doesn’t hit quite right. But if I’m able to actually take that narrative and turn it into something that feels a little bit helpful, I’m going to be more willing to think those thoughts. So I can ask myself, is what I’m telling myself right now helpful or hurtful? If it’s hurtful, I’m going to start reframing. And I’m going to start turning anything that feels negative into a helpful alternative.”

• Use bad days, small injuries etc, as a chance to train new styles of game, new guards, new passes etc. Break from the norm, have fun, try new things!  
• If you can’t train BJJ, you can still get better. Go to training and watch. Rest and recover. Watch some instructionals and learn new styles. Try a new hobby for a bit and take a break. Remove the link that BJJ has on your identity, remember that BJJ is only part of you, not all of you, and it doesn’t define your worth. Use downtime as a chance to find and learn about yourself! 
• Rosie discusses how she found a lot of great friends and mentors through her time in BJJ. One of the best parts of the sport is the community that you can connect with, the bonds and friendships are a key factor for people loving the sport as much as learning the ‘gentle art’!
• Rosie has used BJJ to find herself and to develop her identity for herself, and use reframing as a way to always look to the positive rather than the negative side of life. 

“And so I started going through therapy when I was six years old because my uncle passed away and I was super, super close to him. So I have been in and out of therapy quite literally my entire life. And I remember as a kid, I would write out my story. My name is you know Rose Miller. I was born on this day. This is, and go through chronologically, my story. And every time I would go to a new therapist, I would tell them the story the exact same way. And then when I finally really, really understood what Richard Bach meant by that quote, you are free to change your future or your past at any moment, I started telling my story differently. Um, to where I was no longer a victim of the circumstances that happened. Those things did happen to me. Horrible things have happened. And also I’m not weaker because of them. I’m not bound by them. I’m not limited by them. I’m not inadequate because of them. Um, and I think realizing that you have the power to change how you tell yourself the story is incredibly powerful.”