Episode #192 Emlovz on why you need to treat dating as a social experiment and Mega-date!

February 10, 2024 Ian Dawson Mackay ALL PODCAST EPISODES, DATING & RELATIONSHIPS, TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE 1:01:47 0 Comments

TODAY's GUEST are Emyli & Thomas from Emlovz!!

Today’s guest are Emyli & Thomas from Emlovz!

Dating can be magical, a deep love and connection with someone that you could spend the rest of your life with … or it can be soul destroying journey of coffee dates, rejection and misery as you meet people who are nothing like their bio’s. So what’s the solution? We find someone who has trialed going on tonnes of dates to learn what works and what doesn’t, so you can learn from their successes, avoid their mistakes and shorten your journey to meeting the right person or people you want to date. So who will be our dating gurus? Introducing Emyli and Thomas!

The show-notes can be found at: https://www.nextlevelguy.com/emlovz192/

Emyli is the Head Coach & Co-founder, and completed a 100-date experiment and went on 101 dates with 52 different men. Research from the experiment became the foundation for her coaching program, and today she is an expert at helping men & women find love, using a method called MegaDating, which is the process of dating multiple people at the same time to diffuse energy & increase confidence. Their theory is: do the work to find the right partner from the start, then we can avoid divorce & unhappiness in the long run.

Thomas, Coach and Co-founder spent six years being single in San Francisco — one of the most treacherous cities for men to date. During this time, he researched and experimented heavily with dating, courtship, and mate selection. He conducted numerous data-driven psychology, communication, & relationship strategy experiments – which ultimately led him to meeting Emyli & ending her 100-Date Experiment.

Years later, they’re still together & happily married. Today they help men & women just like you reach these very same milestones. They train you to win first place in love by attracting your perfect partner by treating dating as a social experiment! 

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KEY POINTS, Links & Actions

Here are some key points that I would advise you to concentrate on:

  • We are all deserving of love, and a relationship with a great person, or people in our lives. 
  • Emyli dated 100 men in a series of dates to ascertain what the factors were that created love, and what caused success in dating and love.
  • We tend to look at our parents and role models as we age, that helps shape our views and beliefs about love and connection. 
  • Our ego is there to help us, to keep us safe, but it can actually hold us back, prevent us from being vulnerable, open, honest and ready to connect. Losing the ego can help us connect.
  • People can smell bullshit a mile away, you need to be yourself, authentic and honest.  
  • By approaching dating like they did, as a method for data collection, rather than an emotional rollercoaster, or a value in your worth, you reduce the emotions associated with dating and rejection, view dating and yourself without judgement and instead see it truthfully and stay in the moment during your dates. 
  • Having friends and others that you support, discuss and bond with can help you grow better – by helping and supporting them, it can help you keep motivated and passionate by congratulating your peers success.
  • Your success in dating does not define your success as a person. 
  • No matter where you are in your dating life, you can change, and meet new people. 
  • We are all unique, and have many attractive qualities and experiences, that will attract others and cause them to want to be in your life. You will not attract everyone you meet, but there are people out there that will be attracted to you. 
  • Aim to date multiple people at a time, it helps grow your confidence and avoid putting people on a pedestal and deal better with rejection, as you know you have other options.
  • We are not taught dating, relationships and connections at school or otherwise, so be easy on yourself, stop expecting miracles; Dating is a skill you can learn but need experience to do so. Stop trying to run before you walk, start small and build up.
  • Dinner dates are not worth your time, an expenses you don’t need, and probably no longer an effective use of your time as the return is not going to be the most effective return.
  • There is a difference  between dating people and relationships – these will need a change in your approach, energy etc to truly connect with one another. Attraction goes, true connection brings love. 
  • Learn to be in the moment, focus on the interaction and learning about the other person, than worrying about what you want to say next. Treat a date like spending time with a friend and see where it grows, stop treating dating like it’s a job interview! 
  • Bars and clubs are not great places to meet people! 
  • We all have masculine and feminine energies in ourselves, the use of both energies can affect our successes, as the different genders are attracted to particular energy actions.
  • You can record and track your dates like you would do at the gym. Look at your own growth, track the things that matter to you, look at non emotional and look for what is working and what is not, and adapt your style.Identify your best self, and what you don’t want to date again! 
  • You need to be ready for dating when you are trying to meet people. Deal with any demons, deal with any hangups on old partners etc, and become a better, more confident version of yourself and then start dating. Don’t bring in old negative energies into new connections, as you can ruin your chances and end up repeating the same old mistakes you have made.
  • Rejection is going to happen. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Instead of thinking there is something wrong with you, say thank you for their time and be glad, be happy they have told you straight and you won’t need to try and build something with someone that is not right for you. It lets you go and find someone else better suited to you. 
  • You need to understand that you are a prize, not just a hunter. You do not need to accept bad behaviour, unsuitable people, being treated badly, you can reject people, and find those who you truly connect with. Don’t lead with your ego, be glad that you know, so you can use your resources and self finding those who will want to meet you and learn about you.
  • Learn to be proud of your actions, not your outcomes!
  • Dating is a skill-set that can be learnt. However, you don’t need to do it on your own. By obtaining a dating coach, like you would do with a trainer at the gym, it will help you reduce mistakes, get success quicker and have a faster transformation process. 
  • Having an accountability friend, that can help you keep motivated, social and active can be a great help, to stop you falling out of love with being social and open. 
  • It can be tiring being social, and being in and around people again – start small, you don’t need to rush, and have some self-care routines where you can recover and build up your social muscles again.
  • Virtual dates are an amazing tool to meet people, save time, start small, and build into being social. 
  • “Be yourself” is terrible advice to give to someone to be better at dating! 
  • You will become better at dating by repping dates, like you would rep weights to build muscles. 
  • You will learn who you are through dating, meeting people, rejecting unsuitable people etc. Dating will give you new confidence and experiences during your dates and they will really help you learn about who you truly are as a person.

LEVEL UP Time WITH THIS KEY LESSON!

We are all deserving of love, and a relationship with a great person, or people in our lives.

Dating is a skill-set that can be learnt. However, you don’t need to do it on your own. By obtaining a dating coach, like you would do with a trainer at the gym, it will help you reduce mistakes, get success quicker and have a faster transformation process. 

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About the Author
I’m a podcaster who interviews great examples of people to discuss and highlight the methods, hacks, tips and procedures you can use in your own life to help you develop and better your life. I would definitely not consider myself an expert, so to improve, I ask them and action it in my own life! My personal journey has been marked by awkwardness and awesomeness, OCD and ‘OMG’. I have suffered with depression, shyness, unhappiness and lack of focus and motivation so I know what’s it like to feel lost and hopeless. Back then, I wished I had a podcast to listen to and find actual fixes and concrete action steps and not just unobtainable suggestions and promotion of their products but couldn’t find it … so I made my own!

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