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“If you’re struggling with dating, the problem isn’t the apps, the city, or your age—it’s how you’re using them. Be intentional, be confident, and most of all—be yourself.” – Erika Ettin
Dating in the modern world is a battlefield of swipes, texts, and ghosting—and if you’re not playing the game right, you’re getting left behind. That’s where Erika Ettin comes in. She’s not just a dating coach; she’s a strategist, a game-changer, and the secret weapon behind thousands of successful relationships.
As the founder of A Little Nudge, Erika has taken the guesswork out of dating. Armed with a background in business analytics and a sharp, no-nonsense approach, she helps people craft dating profiles that stand out, send messages that actually get responses, and navigate first dates with confidence. Her expertise has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, and more—because when it comes to modern dating, she knows exactly what works.
If you’re tired of endless swiping, awkward conversations, and wondering why dating feels like an uphill battle, Erika is here to shake things up. Get ready for real, actionable advice that will transform your love life.
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GUEST SOCIAL LINKS
🔗 Key Links from This Episode 🔗
📌 Read the interview transcript here: Erika Ettin interview-transcript
📌 Buy a coaching call with Erika here
📌 Her blog
📌Work with Erika – 1:1 Dating Coaching → 4 Coaching Sessions with Dating Coach Erika
📌 Erika’s Book on Online Dating Success → Love at First Site: Tips and Tales for Online Dating Success from a Modern-Day Matchmaker
📌 Erika’s old podcast → https://sowemetonline.com/
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KEY POINTS, Links & Actions
Erika Ettin is a top dating coach, author, and the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps people transform their online dating experience. With a background in business analytics and years of experience fine-tuning profiles and messages, she knows exactly how to help you attract the right match.
Why work with a dating coach? Because dating is a skill—just like fitness, business, or public speaking. A coach helps you avoid common mistakes, refine your approach, and boost your confidence, making the process more enjoyable and successful. Whether you’re struggling with your profile, conversations, or first dates, Erika provides expert strategies to help you stand out and connect with the right people.
📌 Short Summary of Key Areas Covered
In this episode, I sit down with Erika Ettin, a top dating coach and online dating expert, to break down where most men go wrong in dating, how to stand out in online dating apps, and how to approach relationships with confidence.
We discuss:
✅ The biggest mistakes men make on dating apps (and how to fix them)
✅ How to write a dating profile that actually gets matches
✅ Why most men approach online dating wrong—and what to do instead
✅ How to balance online and real-life dating
✅ Why overthinking is killing your chances & how to embrace the ‘Dating NATO’ approach
✅ The power of decisiveness—how to confidently ask someone out without being ‘wishy-washy’
✅ Why women reject ‘good morning’ texts & other common red flags
If you’re tired of swiping with no results or overanalyzing every interaction, this is the episode for you.
💡 Key Takeaways from the Interview with Erika Ettin
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1️⃣ Online Dating is a Skill, Not Luck – Treat your dating profile like a first impression. The right wording, photos, and approach make all the difference in attracting the right people.
2️⃣ Your Profile Should Spark Conversation – Avoid generic bios. Instead of saying, “I love traveling,” try: “My favorite trip was hiking to Machu Picchu—what’s yours?” This invites engagement.
3️⃣ Photos Matter More Than You Think – Your first picture should be clear, recent, and show your face. Avoid group photos, sunglasses, or mirror selfies. Quality over quantity.
4️⃣ Messaging Should Be Fun, Not Formal – Open with something light and specific, like a comment on their profile. Skip the boring “Hey, how are you?”—it gets lost in the noise.
5️⃣ Don’t Waste Time in the Chat Stage – The goal is to move from texting to meeting in real life quickly. A few messages to establish a vibe, then suggest a low-pressure first date.
6️⃣ Confidence is the Ultimate Attractor – Whether online or in person, own who you are. Self-assured people naturally draw others in—desperation or hesitation pushes them away.
7️⃣ Rejection is Not Personal – Dating is about finding the right match, not winning over everyone. A lack of chemistry is not a failure—it’s a step closer to the right person.
8️⃣ Know What You Want Before You Start Dating – Be clear on your values, dealbreakers, and relationship goals. This helps you avoid wasted time with incompatible matches.
9️⃣ The First Date Should Be Simple & Low-Stakes – Coffee, a walk, or a casual drink keeps things relaxed and pressure-free. No expensive dinners or over-the-top gestures too soon.
🔟 Dating Should Be Fun! – If it feels like a chore, you’re doing it wrong. Approach dating with curiosity and playfulness—it’s about connection, not perfection.


🔥 Challenges for the Listener 🔥
1️⃣ Rewrite Your Dating Profile – Take a fresh look at your profile. Does it highlight your personality without bragging or sounding generic? Try using one of Erika’s recommended prompts like “I geek out over…” or “Do you agree or disagree that…?”
2️⃣ Ditch the ‘Good Morning’ Texts – If you’ve been guilty of sending “Hey, how’s your day?” messages, stop. Instead, start conversations based on something interesting from their profile.
3️⃣ Be Decisive & Ask Confidently – No more vague “We should grab a drink sometime”. Instead, be clear and direct: “I’d love to take you out for coffee. When are you free?”
4️⃣ Set a Weekly Dating Goal – Treat dating like a job search. Spend 30 minutes a day actively engaging on apps or commit to attending 2-3 social events per month.
5️⃣ Try the ‘Dating NATO’ Mindset – Not Attached to Outcome – Go on dates with zero expectations beyond simply seeing if you enjoy their company. Take the pressure off!

Level up your sex life!
Level up your brain on the go!
Smell like a legend for less than a tenner!
LEVEL UP Time WITH THIS KEY LESSON!

💡 Key Lesson 💡
“Dating isn’t just about meeting the ‘right’ person—it’s about showing up as the best version of yourself. If you’re struggling, the problem isn’t the apps, the city, or your age—it’s how you’re approaching it. Be intentional, be confident, and most of all, be yourself.” – Erika Ettin
🚀 Challenge: This week, take one actionable step—whether it’s rewriting your profile, sending a more engaging message, or confidently asking someone out.
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