00:00:00.00 Amber head um When I was 40, about 10 years ago, so when I was 42, I had some pretty severe postpartum depression. I had kids kind of late, so I had a baby um then. and I always had like a lot of anxiety and I think some bouts of depression, but like it was very severe whenever I had my second child. and I was like, oh my God, I was in this hole and I didn't know what to do. And so I just started like, and it wasn't intentional that I started like getting rid of things to make. I didn't know what was gonna happen. It wasn't like premeditated. I just started getting rid of things. It just kind of seemed organic that, um because I was trying to figure out the the answer to this problem of how I was feeling. 00:00:52.96 Amber So I started getting rid of things and then, um, it just, I started to feel better and I got rid of more things. I started to feel better. And then I started to like, I don't, I don't know. I've never really been a religious person, but like, I started feeling more spiritual and I started meditating and that's a huge component of what I teach because it's so fascinating to me, like how the, um, 00:01:23.42 Amber It's really like a paradox. It's really like the the more the more you get rid of things physically, like the more you can... I'm not explaining this very well, but the more you categorize these things and get them out of your life, 00:01:40.17 Amber then you are free energetically, but the paradox is that you don't categorize the things in your head. Like, you know when you're upset about something and you try so hard to figure it out and you like, you think yourself into this, you start ruminating and you start just getting more and more and more and more upset. 00:01:55.14 iandawsonmackay Mm-hmm Yeah 00:02:00.73 Amber It's the opposite of what you think you don't categorize in your brain. You know what I'm trying to say? Like, you just let it go. You just let it go. And then you can find the answers to whatever it is that was vexing you. You can just like, if you let it go. So I mean, for that reason, they actually overlap, letting go of the things and letting go of the thoughts. All of that stuff creates lots of energy and lots of positive energy and it lets energy flow in your house and in your mind and in your body and everything. But um but going back to you know when I was 42, 00:02:44.26 Amber And I just started getting rid of all these things. I started to feel better. And then I got rid of more things. I started to feel better. And then I started like meditating, like I mentioned. And then I started um letting go of and noticing all of these sort of limiting beliefs that I was having. And then I would let those go. 00:03:02.20 Amber And then ultimately I realized that i wasn't I was in a toxic relationship and so i I got divorced. And now I just feel like all the things that, and I think this is true for a lot of people, a lot of the things that we think we need, whether it's i mean And I'll get married again. 00:03:21.78 Amber It's not about being married. being married it's it's It's the things you think you need. like I have to get married. I have to have a house. I have to have these kids. I have to have all these things from Amazon. 00:03:33.61 Amber I have to have this outfit. You know what I mean? No, actually, you don't. 00:03:36.77 iandawsonmackay No. 00:03:38.23 Amber You don't need any of that stuff. 00:03:38.74 iandawsonmackay your life You live on someone else's timeline, don't you? You think, oh, I need to keep up with the neighbors. I need to keep up with my family. It's all BS, isn't it? 00:03:48.27 Amber It's all BS. And the more you let go of those labels or those that idea of thinking that you're supposed to be a certain way, the more true you become to who you really are. And then you just start to accept who you really are. And yes, it all starts with getting rid of random things. So it's huge. It seems so small, but it's freaking huge. 00:04:15.84 iandawsonmackay Because I mean, that's when I notice, like I suffer with depression, OCD and stuff. And I notice, for example, when I start hoarding stuff and I start to get messy in the flat, that's a sign that I'm slipping and I need to get back in. I was likeve i kind of notice it myself, but there's periods of time when like birthdays, I'm just about to finish a job. but twelve I've been there 12 years and I've started getting rid of stuff and it's like shedding an old version of myself and I'm like this is amazing and i mean I need to store all the stuff I'm not using. I've got like model cards I haven't built and I want to put this picture up and then I realised I have about 90,000 storage items but I don't really have much to put up. 00:04:57.56 iandawsonmackay And I think that's what a lot of us do, is we buy stuff for stuff that's never going to happen, or we don't plan ahead, or it's a future that's never going to happen. and How did you start getting rid of that belief that you can change, you know that we are going to be messy and unorganized? What was it that caused it for you? Was it just that continuous shedding of your past self? 00:05:22.41 Amber Yeah, it's such a great question because you're not alone. I mean, we all do that to a certain degree. I think some of us hold on to those versions harder and tighter than others of us. But I do think that it is a it's a product of our anxiety and our afraidid our fear of letting go. 00:05:49.63 Amber and letting go in any way, like, like, like, like, ah do I don't know, do you meditate at all? 00:05:57.02 iandawsonmackay ah try to but it's not a harb but yet 00:05:58.72 Amber Okay. Well, it's fine. No, it's just that like, it's First of all, I think meditation is so misunderstood and I'm going to answer your question in a second, but like I'm relating the letting go of the things to the sort of letting go of the tightness that exists in our bodies. 00:06:22.20 Amber And um a lot of us, it's just our default. It used to be my default for 42 years. I mean, like, you're just, you're holding on tight. You're trying to get done you're with everything. You're trying to optimize. You got to do this and that. And then when I realized that you can just pause and you won't die, 00:06:45.98 Amber You really won't. 00:06:46.49 iandawsonmackay Yep. 00:06:47.56 Amber It's okay just to let go. I do this all at random times throughout the day, but letting go. There's this fantastic book I read that was in the very beginning of this journey for me, and it was by Michael Singer. 00:07:05.64 Amber It's called The Surrender Experiment. Have you read that? 00:07:09.57 iandawsonmackay Don't think so, doesn't ring a bell. 00:07:11.45 Amber Okay. It's really, for me at the time, it was just so helpful because it really was about just letting go of the control. That's what I'm trying to see. That's the answer to the question. It's like all of those things that you're holding onto, it's like you want some some control over your life and it makes a lot of sense, you know, it's like if you're not in control of your life, then who is? Well, the really amazing thing is is that once you let go of the control and you let go of the past versions and the future versions and all the versions you can finally just be and it is 00:08:03.83 Amber It's just, it's it's huge. and It's amazing. 00:08:09.23 iandawsonmackay Because i I'm a major fan of your your podcast, you know Declare Your Chaos. And I find it almost like it's a therapy session as much as it's an actual podcast. you know Because you deal with, like we're talking about before we started, like dealing with shame, dealing with like the mental blocks, as well as amazing tips on how to fix your stuff. 00:08:31.44 iandawsonmackay But was that what you, the inspiration for starting the podcast, that you saw people were struggling and you thought, because you say to yourself that you're not self-taught, but is that what got you to start the podcast, that you could help people by actually trying and testing methods? 00:08:48.14 Amber Yes, so the reason I started the podcast was because I had I went through this change that I felt was so monumental that I was excited to share it with people. i knew I knew that I wasn't alone. I knew that if I felt this way, then there I knew that there were other people that felt this way too. Oh, and and and you're you're gonna have to like get me away from the meditation things. I keep on going back to it. But when you meditate, you realize that you're, because I was very lonely back then. And you know you have these two small kids and then, 00:09:27.93 Amber you but you feel very isolated and lonely. And I was, but when you meditate, you start to feel connected to everyone and everything. And I knew in this, like when I had started to meditate, I knew that there were other people that felt the same way that I did. And that is why I started the podcast because I felt like I wanted to connect with them and that I thought that they, I became what I needed. You know what I mean? Like for the decluttering, honestly, 00:09:58.10 Amber I don't know if I said it on any of the episodes that you listened to, but I'm very messy person. um Not as much anymore because I have my strategies, but I was like always considered a messy, I considered myself a messy person. um ah But I forgot what I was saying. oh yeah but i like knew that there were people out there that were feeling like failures, feeling lonely, feeling like all the things that I was. Oh, I know what I was going to say. 00:10:28.76 Amber The reason I even started my um business, which was actually before I started meditating, which I'll tell you about in a second, but I started that because it was an answer to my own prayers. like I was like, I'm so messy. I need somebody to help me. I need somebody to come into my house and help me um like get organized and just be more orderly. and then And I started this business, it was called Tidy Hour. And then COVID hit 00:11:02.51 Amber um After I started my business and so I wasn't going into basically my business was this idea that I had for a Kind of like a cleaning service, but instead of cleaning like your floors and your bathrooms It would be like cleaning your insides of your cabinets. So it was like an organizing service, but it wasn't um You know how you can call like the container store or any of those big? 00:11:28.90 Amber Like companies and they'll come help you organize your stuff and it's very expensive. It's like, you know 10 grand or something Well, this was gonna be like a sir. 00:11:33.68 iandawsonmackay Yeah. 00:11:37.32 Amber I still think this is a great idea by the way, but it But it was gonna be like Like a maid service that would come in and then it would just like help you clean out The areas that you can't see right and like, okay, so you don't need this anymore We're gonna help you, you know, like kind of help you 00:11:39.29 iandawsonmackay Oh, I would hire you right now. My kitchen's a mess. 00:11:59.06 Amber organized or declutter. Anyway, that was um a long time in the works and then COVID happened so I wasn't going in into anyone's houses and I stopped doing that and that's when I started doing my podcast and I was like, well, at least I can kind of go through this journey with people and help them with whatever ways I've figured out. And so it's not really like, I'm so great at this, let me explain to you how to do everything. It's not that, it's more like, here I am, I'm just like you, and these are some of the tricks that I have figured out and I'm gonna share them with you. 00:12:38.79 iandawsonmackay that's yeah And I like how in your like your bio of the podcast you talk about never being alone. you know but like A lot of moms or a lot of dads and will feel messy and thank god they they're letting their kids and their family down. When in reality, it we've all got a bit of mess, but we all blame each other. 00:12:57.43 iandawsonmackay And do you think that's why people hoard, why people beat ourselves up, why we put so much stress on ourselves? It's because we feel alone, because we haven't got people to talk to. And that's why, like, you know, shows like yourself, Marie Kondo and Marie Kondo and all these sort of people. 00:13:14.82 iandawsonmackay that you're starting to show us how to do it, but give us an accountability partners through your Facebook groups and stuff like that. Do you find now that shows like yours are now helping so many people because of that? 00:13:30.17 Amber Um, I do think we live in such a lonely time. Like that, that's just the world we live in. And it's so sad. And when I had kids, I thought that it would be like it was when I was a kid and like where my, my, you know, there was, it wasn't like a village mentality, but at least it was more of a neighborhood where you kind of like had block parties and got together. 00:13:52.26 iandawsonmackay No. 00:13:54.93 Amber And it just doesn't seem like, that's that doesn't happen anymore. And it's it's so lonely, not just for not just for it's for everyone, 00:14:06.88 Amber for most of us. And um I did, yes, to answer your question, yes, i that is a big reason why I started all of this. Because when you're home and you're doing these pretty amazing things in your home, nobody sees, nobody shares it with you. like like Your spouse might come home and be like, great, you clean today. or you know And I was working full time, so I was doing it all. I was like you know teaching full time, and then I was like trying to have like this 00:14:45.02 Amber um You know Martha Stewart house, which is just so stupid. It's not realistic. It's not Prize worthy. It's just I don't like you were said in the very beginning Like why are we all trying to live up to these standards that are in our head? and Nobody else cares just we gotta let that go but anyway, I Just started this Facebook group in the beginning of the summer and it has been just magical like like i just seeing what people are doing and not doing it alone. You're doing something like cleaning out your refrigerator. That is the most not exceptional task, but it is because you can eat easier and you can find your food easier and you spent this hour doing it and you feel so accomplished and it's like these tiny little things in life. They don't have to be big. You don't have to freaking go to, you know, 00:15:45.85 Amber someplace halfway across the world and do something. First, you start in your own home. That's what my sort of philosophy is too. like First, just create peace here. you know And so many of us struggle with that. We're like, we'll create peace somewhere else. And it again, it's like not even something that's feasible. It's just No, start here. Start inside your own body. Start inside your own home. like Breathe. First, just breathe. Create peace inside your skin. you know And then create peace inside your family. And then create peace and you know like and let it spread out as opposed to pointing fingers. Do you know what I mean? 00:16:31.66 iandawsonmackay and should ah your home should be a place a safe haven somewhere to relax and enjoy being with your family not somewhere that you come home and it's combative and it's like oh you never took the bins out you did this you did that and I think that's the problem is a lot of us are coming home and going 00:16:41.51 Amber Right. 00:16:48.07 iandawsonmackay Oh, good idea. You know, and it's that victim mentality. We're seeing organization as a struggle rather than a chance to benefit you, you know, like meal prep. 00:16:58.60 iandawsonmackay And I know where everything is and I know that I can go in and not find a bunch of rotten food because I've not wasted money because I know it's all, you know, like I can rotate my food and plan for the week. 00:17:09.73 iandawsonmackay And there's so many benefits. 00:17:10.81 Amber yeah 00:17:11.94 iandawsonmackay And every time I listen to your show, I'm usually cleaning at the time and it's like, That's such a great idea. I need to do that. I need to do that. Where does the line come between personalization and putting your mark on a place and clutter? How does that become that's mess and that's actually my me so my personality in a room? 00:17:39.90 iandawsonmackay you know like Because if you go into somebody's set room and go, ah that's an amazing display, and somebody else could come in and go, that's terrible. 00:17:41.20 Amber Oh, she's coming. 00:17:47.77 iandawsonmackay That's just a pile of junk. where Where does that line come, do you think? How do we know where to start and what to get rid of, et cetera? 00:17:56.94 Amber That is another great question. So when everything, I know you've heard this before, but when everything is special, nothing is special. so like 00:18:10.73 Amber if Here's the thing. if you want to talk about your items, right? Like say I have this heart and it's really special to me and I wanted to tell you about it. And even if I wanted to see it, I can't have a bunch of things laying around it because you will be blind. The clutter makes, it's, and I'm not even going to call it clutter. Too many objects blind you to this, 00:18:44.76 Amber to seeing really all you see that's the way our brains work and I've read a lot of of books and articles and lots of um This is true like the way our brains work is they if there's too much stuff They can't see the individual you can't see the individual items. 00:18:47.04 iandawsonmackay Hmm. 00:19:05.66 Amber So I um I get what you're saying, you know, all of these things are special to me. And I can't like, let's say I have 20 things on my shelf. And I'm like, Oh, well, I want to pare it down to 10. 00:19:24.17 Amber okay, I want to take this thing out, but then you don't want to get rid of that thing because that thing is really special to you. You need the 20 things. 00:19:31.30 iandawsonmackay Mm. 00:19:33.41 Amber So I think the answer is you just can't have them all together. You know what I mean? Like, like the other, I want to actually piggyback on myself and say that if one, if you have several things that represent one era or one version of you or one emotion that is evoked inside of you. You don't need those five things. You need one of those things because that one thing will bring up the same feeling. I'm not about getting rid of everything. 00:20:12.54 Amber i ah But if you have those 20 things on the shelf and and you're not having, they're not bringing you the feeling that you want or that it is intended, then try getting rid of some of them or even like putting some of them in storage and then changing them out. Although that's not really my my thing because we want to make your life easier rather than having to change things out. 00:20:42.14 Amber but Like do you have a certain category of things that you tend to hang on to? Like is it are they similar items or are they all different all over the place? 00:20:56.77 iandawsonmackay it It depends on the room. But for me, it's like paperwork from like 10 years ago. And then I'll go into the kitchen, and it's tons of like plastic containers. And then it's the the air fire sets out where I know I don't need it all the time and in the kitchen. and Then I go into the garage, and its the shelves are just a mishmash because it'll do there. you know that It's trying to get out of that mentality. My mom used to say everything needed to have its own home. 00:21:24.92 iandawsonmackay But how do you even start when everything is everywhere but you want to keep everything in your head? How do you lose that emotional attachment to it? 00:21:35.78 Amber Yeah. So it sounds like the things that you're describing are not sentimental items. It sounds like they're things that you think you might use one day, like the containers, the things in the garage, all those things. So that is a lot easier than the sentimental items. So that's almost more like a logical thing. It's like, how many of these containers can you use at one time? 00:21:58.00 Amber And I know what you're thinking, well, there might be a time that I will use this one, this shape, this height, this everything, but you can't... 00:22:01.23 iandawsonmackay No. 00:22:12.22 Amber You can't live like the future version of yourself. You have to live like you would today or even just the next couple of months. I get that. It doesn't have to be like, I'm not, you know, today, the next eight hours or whatever, but like in the next couple of months, if you're not going to use those containers, it's time to get rid of them because they are costing you so much more than you know. They are costing you time They're costing you space. They're costing you energy if you are surrounded by all this stuff It's not good for your health. So I think that what we need to think about and I do talk about this a lot on the podcast is not about 00:23:00.66 Amber what the the amount of money we're going to lose if we get rid of the things. It's about what we'll be gaining if we get rid of the things. What we're gaining is this space that is priceless. 00:23:15.36 iandawsonmackay Because I was just thinking, just now, like under my bed, for example, I have boxes, and there'll be like an old Atari video system that I used to play with my brother. There's sports equipment under there that, when I used to lift heavy. And I think it's, I've listened to you just now, i thinking and I was thinking, yeah, I do. I tell myself a story about that. I could be using that stuff, but in my head, it's like, that's when I was fit and healthy. That's when I was having fun before I lost my sense of self. 00:23:43.83 iandawsonmackay the last couple of years you know that's you do it's there you do tell yourself these stories about these things don't you 00:23:52.89 Amber Yeah, you do you tell yourself these stories and it's all like who do you want to be right now like I Have I used to have a lot of projects in the garage that I every time I walk past them It was a lot of a lot of sewing projects that I thought that I would do one day and I was like every time I walk past them I'm like oh God, Amber, why can't you just like get it together? Why can't you do that and this project? And I realized that that project was causing me so much anxiety that it wasn't worth it. Like it's supposed to be fun. I was supposed to create something and it was going to be fun. No. So ah during this big 00:24:29.13 Amber initial decluttering session, you know, when I started this whole process, I got rid of the sewing machine. I got rid of all the things that I was going to sell and I felt fantastic. I wasn't like, you know, mourning their departure. I was like, 00:24:44.80 Amber this is so I feel free like I'm not uh I don't have to do that I don't have to make those pillows nobody's gonna make make those pillows yes and so And so I think that that's the conversation we need to have with ourselves. Like, do I want to lift the weights? And if I don't, that's okay. That's fantastic. And like, and let that go and see what exciting new things are going to come into my life because nothing new will come in. If you're just hanging on to these previous versions, maybe something better than the weightlifting or the, you know, 00:25:29.71 Amber Atari or whatever that kind of stuff is I know that you're holding on to it because it's a memory that you loved Here's another side note um If you take a picture of the of the gaming console it can help I know that that is it sounds silly but if it's really just a memory that you are hanging on to it for take a picture and put it in a 00:25:58.56 iandawsonmackay like sort of Dropbox and yeah. 00:25:58.77 Amber folder and yeah, somewhere and and title it like, like your brother's, you know, stuff I used to do with whatever his name is or, you know, 00:26:09.79 Amber Um, when he sends you a birthday card or whatever, you know, take a picture, put it in that file. So you have these memories of him that aren't just, that's the other thing. We don't like the idea of like throwing this memory in the garbage. So take it to the donation center. Maybe somebody's collecting those things. Maybe somebody will make a, an art piece out of it. Who knows? But I get the whole like, 00:26:35.68 Amber taking it to the e-waste. I mean, that's kind of sad. 00:26:40.95 iandawsonmackay Because that's the thing, isn't it? You always think you're going to have a plan for it. You always think it in the future where we're not living now. And when I initially started, when my depression was really bad, I came in and the hallway was messy. My my bike needed its tires blown up. My kitchen had dirty dishes around. It just seemed cluttered and mayhem everywhere. So you have this premise you talk about of decluttering little by little on the show. 00:27:07.92 iandawsonmackay But how do you get somebody to start? 00:27:08.27 Amber and hu 00:27:10.40 iandawsonmackay No matter the state of the house, how do we pick a spot and go? Is it the entrance way as you come in the door? Is it your bedroom? Is it where you're going to leave your wallet and your phone, just so you have a little clean space that you can serve, keep it clean and branch out from? 00:27:29.00 iandawsonmackay What's your preferred way of doing it? 00:27:29.42 Amber Yes, so I like to think of it as um I mean, there's a lot of different ways you can approach it. But based on how you ask that question, my answer to you would be you start with the tiny, to base it on time as opposed to project. Base it on time as opposed to project. And what I mean by that is you are going to trick your body 00:28:02.57 Amber to accomplish something first thing when you wake up. And I talked about this recently on my um challenge and on my podcast about making your bed in the morning. 00:28:16.17 Amber So it's the it so the little thing, and but it's a very quick and easy win. 00:28:16.26 iandawsonmackay Yeah. 00:28:23.22 Amber And I say this on the podcast, it's not about the bed. i don't Nobody cares if your bed looks good. Nobody's going to see it. like You know, it doesn't matter. And you're just going to mess it up again. It has nothing to do with the bed. It has to do with how it makes you feel. And that's kind of the the sort of a microcosm basis of my whole entire show, because it's not about all this stuff. It's about how you feel. 00:28:55.00 Amber And ah accomplishing that tiny little task before in the first like five minutes of you opening your eyes in the morning, that's what propels you to do the next thing. And maybe the next thing has nothing to do with with decluttering. Maybe the next thing has nothing to do with cleaning. Maybe the next thing has nothing to do with anything. But you're going, whatever it is, you're going to feel better. 00:29:23.39 Amber than you would have if you didn't make the bed. And what's magical is that you make the bed and you you feel like, okay, yeah, I did that. 00:29:26.71 iandawsonmackay Hmm. 00:29:32.37 Amber And then you're like, I think I'm gonna go ah clean the kitchen. And then you know you're like, oh, well, I gotta go to work. I only have a few minutes. 00:29:43.57 Amber Okay, maybe I'll just go unload the dishwasher or you know whatever it is, just one tiny thing. And it's every little thing that you ah accomplish propels you to the next thing. And it really is. It's all about what's in here and here. It's not it's not what's out there. 00:30:07.73 Amber Um, I know I talk about her on my podcast too, but Mel Robbins is just a master at this and it's that whole like five, four, three, two, one. The simplest things are the most effective. 00:30:17.84 iandawsonmackay Yeah. 00:30:20.91 Amber She says that's why the five, four, three, two, one thing works because it's so simple. It's like. Like I do that every morning. I do the Mel Robbins. Like, I don't want to get out of bed. Five, four, three, two, one. And then I'll do it. Actually, sometimes I count backwards, like, you know, five times, but eventually. 00:30:39.19 Amber I'll get that up and do it for my quiz. I'm like, all right, five, four, three, two, one. And she says that the reason why that works is because it gets you in your analytical brain, which is what I talk about. Also, when you're trying to decide whether to keep something or let go of something, one of my hacks is to do it with numbers. Stay in your analytical brain. Think about it in numbers. 00:31:06.10 Amber This is, I'm sorry, I'm all over the place right now, but going back to the like containers that you're hanging on to, if you have 10, make it about the numbers. What's half the 10? Five. Cut it in half, just get rid of five. You don't have to get rid of everything. You just have to minute like decrease it, that's all. But anyway, to answer your question, back to your question. So yeah, it's it's um the motivation is definitely, 00:31:36.16 Amber come It comes from inside and it's from doing a tiny thing that you really don't want to do. Who wants to make their bed? What a dumb, boring thing to do. But it's like, do it and you feel better. And that's and that's that's what it's about. It's about making doing the small things that um you know make you feel good. 00:32:02.28 iandawsonmackay because I've definitely started noticing that myself as I used to have this complicated morning and evening routines and I would never finish it half the time or I'd miss stuff off and fall asleep before I'd done everything. And then I listened to your episode about routines and it was about just making your bed And then I read somewhere else with somebody saying, it's just a win for the day. 00:32:22.31 iandawsonmackay No matter what else you achieve, at least you can say, I made my bed. And I can't remember what it was for the evening one, but it was just, said even if it's just all you achieve for the day, you've heard you've done it. And now I find myself, no matter what, no matter how much I'm late running for the car and my journey in or whatever, I make my bed. 00:32:34.25 Amber Thank you. 00:32:40.23 iandawsonmackay And it just gives me that little, hmm, when I go in and my bed's made and the night I go, Oh, it's comfy. You know, it's like it's nice to go into a maid bed and it's the little things like that. It's like i I'll empty the dishwasher now while I'm standing waiting for the kettle to go. Wait, it's before everything. Oh, now I'm just like, just do it. Just make a wee, you know. And I think that's the beauty of your your show is you you get us into that moment of it's enjoyable. It's it's not a punishment. It's something about being proud, being happy for yourself. 00:33:15.15 iandawsonmackay but also making it into a just go and do it now, you know, just don't worry about it. 00:33:18.87 Amber Thank you. 00:33:19.87 iandawsonmackay Don't stress yourself up about it. And I i love that about your show. But if I go into a room and it's really messy, what are your go tos? You know, do you think black bags, cloths, cloth like how how do I prepare myself for a clean out session or is it just a little and everything? 00:33:38.65 iandawsonmackay Just a little bit here, a little bit there, no matter what, how messy it is. 00:33:43.91 Amber You know, I mean, with these kinds of things, it's, it's, there's so many different approaches, which is why I talk about all the, all of them. Like, you know, I talk about all these different approaches and there's different ways to get motivated and because. 00:34:00.56 Amber Some but one of them might stick and one of them might stick tomorrow that didn't stick today um For example yesterday I posted a podcast about kind of what you're asking about right now but it's just for a very messy room and One of the reasons is why um yeah Some of this seems so obvious But because it's like we all struggle with this, and we don't talk of we don't talk about it. you know it's just it's it's it's Well, not all of us struggle with it, but a lot of us struggle with this. so But we don't talk about it because it seems so obvious. So what I'm about to tell you is it's refreshing to hear because 00:34:54.72 Amber It's simple, and it validates your instincts, okay? So basically, you're in the garage, you're in this very, very, very, very messy room, and you don't even know where to begin. You're like, oh my god, I have to take that out to the yard, i have to I have to sell that thing, I have to throw away, like who knows what, I don't wanna throw it away. When does the trash person come? that like All the this this the stuff just in your head, right? 00:35:22.91 Amber And in this episode, I kind of compare, I compare it to working out. And what we want to do is make this decluttering session so unemotional that it's just like working out. It's like we don't go to the gym and think like, you know, no, we're like the most like thoughtless person. They're just watching our screen or or listening to our thing and we're jogging and we have zero emotion. We have zero thoughts. We're just trying to get through the freaking workout, right? Well, that's what I want the decluttering session to be. I want it to be unemotional. 00:36:12.16 Amber Okay, so the way to do that is to simplify it as much as possible. Instead of thinking, oh, I need to sell that, or I need to move that to the kitchen, oh, my daughter might want that, like too many questions. You need two questions. So when you're working with a very messy space, two questions. 00:36:32.92 Amber questions I mean, one question. Stay or go. Stay or go. That's it. That's it. Stay or go. And then later on, we'll worry about where it's going to go if it stays, where it's going to go if it goes. But when you're with like like in my garage, I cleaned out recently, that was it. Does it stay or does it go? 00:36:58.61 Amber and And that's all you need to do because otherwise it is just too much. And then it does become more of a physical workout. It's like staying, you know, you're just literally moving things from one place to another. And here's another great thing about doing just stay or go. 00:37:21.07 Amber Initially, um, the great thing about that is that you start to it becomes easy to let things go for some reason I think I don't know why but it's the way our brain works like You know You're just like just put it in the go to go pile to go to go to go and then I think partially because we don't want to deal with it if we put it in the stay pile but um, I 00:37:30.21 iandawsonmackay Yeah. 00:37:47.69 Amber It's less thinking. It's just a workout. That's all it is. Just stay or go. So I think that that's helpful. And then later you can come back and figure out where is this stuff going to go? Is it going to go in the trash? Is it going to go? But, you know, are we going to sell it? Are we going to put it on my friend's doorstep? Whatever. And the stuff we're keeping, we can decide exactly where we're going to keep it. But in initially, just make it simple. Make it like a workout. 00:38:15.00 iandawsonmackay I really like that because there's times I've been cleaning a space and I'll go balls to the wall, so to speak, for the first half an hour. And then I'll pick up an item and I'll go, oh, and suddenly you lose your motivation. you know you You start telling yourself about the story about this. And you stop and you think about it. And, oh, I'll go for a cup of tea. And, oh, I need to nip to the toilet. And then I need to do that. Before you know it, you've basically done nothing for like two, three hours. 00:38:43.40 iandawsonmackay And I think I like that idea. 00:38:43.90 Amber Then you're tired. 00:38:45.41 iandawsonmackay Yes. And I like the idea of just treating it like a gym session, just getting in, doing the thing and leaving because it's that moment, isn't it? 00:38:46.80 Amber You get tired. 00:38:52.55 iandawsonmackay It's like, oh, but I might need this 50 years down the line, so I'll just hoard it just now. How do you make, then, your family get involved? 00:39:04.16 iandawsonmackay Because a lot of people go, oh no, my wife does the house. you know She makes it pretty. I've got my man drawer. I've got my space in the garage. I've got my you know but where I put all my stuff. 00:39:14.88 iandawsonmackay How do you get your kids involved? How do we make people realize it's a family thing to keep it nice and pretty and motivational and usable? 00:39:23.89 Amber you. 00:39:26.82 iandawsonmackay But also, how do we avoid you know, somebody going, oh, I'm always cleaning. I'm always the one that has to tidy up, you know, to remove that victimhood, but make everybody take part in the organization and the declarating and the just livable space. 00:39:34.13 Amber ah hu 00:39:44.33 Amber Such a good question. So I think the short answer is you lead by example and your they'll catch on. And if they don't, they don't. That's the thing. like I think most of the time you lead by example and they will, especially your kids. They're going to want to have order. It's a human sort of craving that we have order. um It may not be on your time schedule. It may not be when you want it to happen. it may you know you're and you might You might say, hey, honey, it's a it's time for us to declutter. And they're like, 00:40:32.01 Amber No, actually no, not not happening for me today. And you have to, again, let go and give them the space to be them and to let go of control. I mean, I could say that about everything. Let go of the things. Let go of the thoughts. Let go of the trying to control everyone else's schedules and trying to control everyone else's days. Now with your kids, 00:41:01.75 Amber Obviously, you have a a lot more control than with your with your spouse, but um um leading by example, and I also wanted to say something about being a victim. 00:41:19.93 Amber I can't remember what you asked me, but like something about being a victim, 00:41:27.34 iandawsonmackay Well, it's just that people seem to think it's like, it's almost, you know, that kind of sexist attitude of it's like, oh, it's a woman's role to clean and she's there to tidy up after the kids and the man. 00:41:38.51 iandawsonmackay That's silliness. 00:41:38.74 Amber Thank you Yeah, 00:41:39.07 iandawsonmackay How do we get guys into enjoying the space, particularly being part of the upkeep of it as much? 00:41:46.55 Amber yeah thank you, okay, that's what exactly what I wanted I remembered so You can't control them. You just can't and so it's doing it for yourself and not being a victim You know But also, this is such a big topic, which is why I talk about this book in my podcast a lot. It's called Boundary Boss um by Terry Cole, Boundary Boss by Terry Cole. And she talks all about this. 00:42:19.64 Amber so So if you, there's such a fine line between doing what you want And because you you're doing it for your own self development, even if it's just unloading the dishwasher, you're doing it because you, it makes you feel good. It makes you feel like, I don't know, like you're on top of it. 00:42:50.29 Amber But then there's this, to ah what we wanna do is avoid the victim mentality. And it is, we live in a victim mentality world, so it is so hard to do this. But you you do what you're comfortable doing. And when you feel uncomfortable doing it anymore, when you're feeling like, 00:43:15.45 Amber you're being taken advantage of. And and this is an and this is an internal job. like This isn't something that your spouse is going to decide. This isn't something your kids are going to decide. This is something you have to, your come to Jesus thing. like you like What truly are you comfortable with doing? And then when you decide that, you have to communicate it to the other people and you have to have the confidence to enforce it. like i'm not kind so Because honestly, sometimes I just don't mind picking up after my kids. it's I just don't. it's not It's not the hill I want to die on that day. but then Or or you know when I was married, and we're picking up after my husband. I don't care sometimes. But when it does become the hill that you will die on, you have to 00:44:13.22 Amber communicate it and enforce it before it starts to tear you up inside, because it will. 00:44:18.95 iandawsonmackay Hmm. 00:44:20.13 Amber I mean, we're talking about just general ever everyday repeated things that will eventually suck your soul if you let it. So you have to, again, back to the meditation, if you are aware of your feelings. 00:44:41.22 Amber This is why I stopped drinking because I i didn't have a very ah um accurate awareness of how I was feeling because I was like, not that I was ever like an alcoholic, but like, even if I had a couple of glasses of wine a night and then the next day I was recovering, I had no awareness of how I was truly feeling and and you know what I mean? So anyway. 00:45:04.97 Amber um It starts with you and how you feel on the inside because that way you can know for sure how to communicate this without screaming and without being resentful and without acting like a victim. Like guys, we all live here together. This is what I need and I'm willing to do this and that and this is what I need from you. 00:45:30.09 Amber okay mom sure whatever well then they're not going to do it so then you know what i actually do need you to do this and this is what's going to happen i start unplugging shit like i unplug the the tv i'll unplug that 00:45:44.39 iandawsonmackay It's only the right word. 00:45:46.29 Amber I mean, like everything. What? You're crazy mom. I'm not crazy. I just, you know, I asked you to do the thing and I don't want to live with a roommate that sucks. So, you know, go do the thing. So, so yeah, it's, it's just constant. It's a constant. um I don't even want to say battle because it's not it doesn't feel like a battle. It's a constant protecting of your own boundaries. That's all it is, protecting your boundaries. Because when those boundaries start to get violated, that's when you get pissed. That's when you start yelling. and And if you don't know your boundaries, well, you're kind of screwed. so 00:46:34.02 Amber You get what I'm saying? Like you have to really know, you have to come back to your center again and again and again and again. That's why all this stuff is so related. Like the meditation, the boundaries, the getting rid of things, the making space, all that. It's all related, you know? 00:46:54.18 iandawsonmackay I really like that because I think that's something. um There was a series called Living Like James Bond by Paul Kidiazzi, I think his name was, probably butchered it. But he had this idea of like you have your little space and you keep it clean. And it's that's a non-negotiable for the whole day. And then as you clean that next bit, you clean a wee bit more. And it builds from there. And he had this idea about you do it to your car. You do it to your work office. 00:47:22.98 iandawsonmackay And I like that idea of having that boundary of doesn't matter how messy your workplace is, you're going to have your desk cleaned. You're going to have your car organized in a way. Do you like that kind of approach of no matter your place in air quotes, no matter what it is, even if you don't own it, but it's something that you work, like that you're involved in, you keep it clean to an extent or organized to keep that motivation, that mindset throughout the day. 00:47:53.63 Amber I love that. I love that. And I think that that kind of speaks to the whole boundaries thing, because that's what this person that you just mentioned, and I'm i'm going to check that out living like James Bond, it sounds interesting. 00:48:10.75 iandawsonmackay But. 00:48:10.91 Amber But um that was that person's boundary. And um And that works for him and that probably works for a lot of people because if you have this one space that you know, you can feel peaceful in if you have this one space that you know that you're responsible for and that you can go to and you know what it's it helps feel like you have some order as opposed to oh my god, I have to do this whole house it's too much and 00:48:43.49 Amber um But what is really cool about, about having the one little space is that it will provide you with this feeling of calm that one little space will, whether it's your desk, whether it's the, um, Island, whatever your car, whatever the space is. And it will just like we talked about with the bed, it will propel you to want that in other areas of your space and I just have to add that this isn't like a You know, we're such cyclical humans, you know, we're beings we're like we um We're gonna have seasons when we're messy and and by seasons, I mean like maybe a week, you know, maybe we're gonna have a 00:49:39.01 Amber times where we don't feel good and our house is just a complete pigsty and that's okay. There's going to be a few nights where we're just too tired to do the dishes and that's okay but because that doesn't define us. Like, like yes, our environment is a reflection of how we feel inside a hundred percent and It's okay to not feel freaking bright and sunny and shiny and cheery every day. And that ah messy kitchen, yeah, it's okay. Maybe I just i was too freaking tired, I didn't do it, and that doesn't mean you suck as a human. It just doesn't mean that, you know, at all. like 00:50:30.26 Amber I think that everything like is a reflection. Everything is a reflection of of of of of how we're feeling and who we are. And that's just kind of how I see have learned to to see the world because you do see it through this sort of lens of how you're feeling. But at the same time, 00:50:54.67 Amber it's okay to not feel shiny all the time. And I think that we have this expectation, especially because of social media and Instagram and all that, like that our house has to be perfect, you know, guest ready at all times. And it's bullshit. 00:51:13.26 iandawsonmackay Well, I'm in trouble if we help if it's maybe like that. because When I put my camera on, I was making sure there was no mess that could be seen in the background. 00:51:22.64 Amber Thank 00:51:24.14 iandawsonmackay How then do you make sure somebody, you know like as you're cleaning out and you say, right, I'm definitely getting rid of that. Because there used to be the yes, get rid of pile, no I'm keeping, and the maybe pile. 00:51:35.40 iandawsonmackay And they used to say, just throw the maybe pile into the throw out pile. Because you know if you were even doubting it, just get rid of it because you're trying to find an excuse. But how would you make sure then and that you get rid of it? 00:51:47.26 Amber you. 00:51:47.63 iandawsonmackay How you know how do we not just move it to another space, leave it at the door and it's still there three weeks later because you're still coming up with excuses to keep it? How do we make sure we get rid of it and then use that as positive energy to kind of enjoy the free space, enjoy, you know, make it more our space again? 00:52:10.23 iandawsonmackay Now you've got rid of that noise. 00:52:12.79 Amber Yeah, I think that if you take it to your car and immediately drive it there and then give yourself a reward. ah So let's say you really want to go to Starbucks. Oh, well, there's a Starbucks on the way after the donation center. I'm going to drop it off at the donation center and then go get my Starbucks. So you're not thinking about, oh my gosh, I'm getting rid of all these things that I really want to keep because You don't, you're gonna feel so much better when you get rid of them. um You're thinking more about the reward. So yeah, it's just just like, we're just all little kids, right? We just want our rewards. So get rid of the stuff and get your reward. 00:52:55.40 iandawsonmackay Because I think I've seen that in your Facebook group. I think you you say, like oh, we're going to clean our garages today. And then we're i'll you know if you take part and send me photos, I'll send you a Starbucks gift card. 00:53:06.36 iandawsonmackay you know and it's that kind of It's that reward. It's that kind of, just keep focused. 00:53:09.53 Amber Thank 00:53:11.35 iandawsonmackay Do that little space here. Here's an account. like That's why I was saying about using your Facebook group as an accountability partners. 00:53:16.99 Amber you. 00:53:18.40 iandawsonmackay It kind of, oh, everybody's doing it. I'm not alone and I can see what other people do and I can use their as motivation. And yes, you might be a by you the only person that you know because you've got young kids, but you can see these people on Facebook and social media makes the world a smaller place. 00:53:35.80 iandawsonmackay And I love that you do that. Have you found other kind of small challenges because I used to love having drop bins where if there was a bit of mess, you know, like you picked up a kid's toy or but some paperwork or whatever you put it in that bin till later and That was the bit that kept the mess out the way and then you tidied it later on So you didn't have stuff just everywhere you had it in that one bin in each room kind of thing Yeah, it could be like a pretty I don't know like box or something, but it kept It kept shit out the way basically 00:54:08.50 iandawsonmackay do you find Do you find there's any other challenges or little tricks like that that are no energy wins, so to speak? 00:54:08.79 Amber Yeah. yeah yeah 00:54:17.30 Amber That's a great one. I love that. um I think with a lot of people that listen to my show, we would probably run into a problem with like putting too much stuff in the in the cleanup bin, you know? 00:54:32.39 iandawsonmackay yeah 00:54:32.96 Amber i i And then we're like, oh, the cleanup bin. I don't know where to, where my glasses are. They're probably in this cleanup bin. Oh, maybe they're in that cleanup bin. I think that like for my listeners and myself, we we probably would be, I think the cleanup bin might stress us out, but ah but I do like the idea of exactly what you just said, but having a decluttering bin. 00:55:01.39 Amber so you know um let's say you picked up some random thing ah more than you wanted to well that's a bad example because if you're picking something up you're probably using it but if you happen to have a a shirt or whatever the thing is that you really decide that you don't need. You're like, why am I looking at that thing again? I don't want that thing. Pick it up. Go put it in. And I do like the idea of like a cute little like basket or something. 00:55:36.86 Amber um And put it in there. I used before I got divorced, I did this. And my husband, my ex-husband was he didn't like getting rid of things. 00:55:50.10 Amber And so, look in the clean in the decluttering bin and be like, what is this? What? Why don't you want this pen? Oh, this works really, this is a great shade of blue. 00:56:00.34 Amber And he would, we would have this whole con, he's hilarious. Like we would have this whole conversation. 00:56:03.86 iandawsonmackay It's like my dad. 00:56:05.71 Amber Yeah. Like, like, have you seen the shade of blue that this writes in? Like, no, I cannot talk about this anymore. And so. 00:56:13.58 iandawsonmackay yeah but my My dad would keep car parts for cars we no longer owned because you never know when it might be used. 00:56:22.10 Amber Yeah, yeah. You never know when it might be used. a i you're not and yeah Did you use them? 00:56:32.88 Amber Did you ever use the car parts? 00:56:33.82 iandawsonmackay Oh, hell doth. I think we threw them out quite a while ago. 00:56:35.35 Amber Yeah. 00:56:39.17 Amber You never used the car parts and they took up space. You know what? I think it just calms people down. It calms people down to think that they have this thing Oh my gosh, i I know I talk about this on the podcast a lot too. And this was definitely the case with my ex-husband. It made him feel more calm to hold onto to things. But then whenever we got divorced and I had all this stuff in my garage and I said, hey, do you want any of it? And he's like, no, none of it. 00:57:10.33 Amber because and he didn't really want anything. You know what I mean? Like, it was a momentary, it was a temporary fix. 00:57:23.75 Amber The keeping. 00:57:23.76 iandawsonmackay It's almost like, yeah, it's like holding on to that item means they can get some sort of emotional feeling by owning it rather than dealing with that emotional problem that they've got. 00:57:29.23 Amber and 00:57:34.82 iandawsonmackay Yeah, I do that a lot. I hoard stuff when I am struggling or feeling unhappy. I tend to hoard jujitsu geese or, am I don't know, like notepads. If I'm buying for work, I'll buy tons of stuff because I'm, but I can't go and tell my friend how I'm feeling. You know what I mean? it's I'd rather spend money than deal with that emotional problem. 00:57:59.14 iandawsonmackay So I ah ah ye hoard and I clutter rather than dealing with that. I could give you about 50 episodes for your podcast. I think there's a lot of things guys do in that sense. 00:58:11.07 iandawsonmackay you know That's why he wants to keep the pen, rather than maybe speak to you about how he was feeling or if there was an issue. or you know We avoid the difficult conversations by dealing by by dealing with physical items rather than dealing with the emotional side. 00:58:26.90 Amber um 00:58:29.46 Amber Yes, you are so on it yes exactly that's what we do and what I think is amazing is God I would love to do this with you sometime like just go Get rid of something that is easy for you to get rid of and see how like, you know something that you know, not the not all the stuff you just mentioned, like not the stuff that you actually hoard or the stuff that you want, but something that you truly do need to get rid of and start there and see how that makes you feel. But like also my my method, which is perfect 00:59:19.65 Amber for someone like you is all about breathing and all about feeling your body as opposed to being in your head. So my whole approach is to get you out of your head and into your body. And so like, it's it's kind of cheesy, but I called it the Amber Method because I needed an acronym And ah I wanted to have an M and a B and a, anyway, I was like, oh my God, those are the letters of my name. So anyways, the huge thing for you would be to breathe because it just calms our nervous system and we're able to access those like, 01:00:15.43 Amber the things, the words, you know how you were saying like, you you don't want to have this emotion, you don't want to talk about this emotion. Well, it allows us breathing, even just like taking a few really deep intentional breaths, which is what I guide people to do in my courses and in sometimes on my podcast. 01:00:35.09 Amber When you can do that, you really are able to touch, physically touch the places inside of you that you're holding on tight to. 01:00:46.62 Amber and you just let go and you realize that you're safe. And you know how that whole old story about how we as humans, we do this fight or flight thing because that's how we have evolved to make sure that we are safe in the wild from saber-toothed tigers or what have you. 01:01:03.69 iandawsonmackay Thank you. 01:01:07.88 Amber And that's just kind of how we've evolved. And because we know that, we have to keep ourselves in check from it, so when we see our when we feel, and like I said earlier, a lot of us so like this is our ah for a lot of us, this is our default, but this state of feeling a little tight and a little controlling and a little anxious and breathing, um taking some very deep, intentional breaths where you breathe in deeply 01:01:43.86 Amber and breathe out slowly is going to make us feel like we can access those emotions and like we can more easily, not even that we need to talk about, you know, like earlier you were saying, like, you know, I'm holding onto this pen because I actually don't want to feel the things that um the the pen's easier than the feelings, right? 01:02:12.54 Amber Well, 01:02:12.53 iandawsonmackay Hmm. 01:02:13.71 Amber When our nervous system feels safe, which is what breathing allows us to do is to feel safe in our nervous system. 01:02:25.93 Amber We don't have to hold on to anything because this makes us feel safe. 01:02:31.15 iandawsonmackay Now. 01:02:34.95 Amber You get what I'm saying? And when we feel safe, we're like, cool. I don't need to hold on to the thing and I can talk about whatever that emotion was. Even if it's just to myself, I can just like have awareness of it. Talk about that a lot in the podcast too, just having awareness. 01:02:59.21 Amber and it helps to let go. So I think that's a huge thing and we should we should do like a session we should do a decluttering session you and me and I will do some breathing it'll be it'll be awesome. 01:03:10.03 iandawsonmackay ah love it 01:03:15.61 iandawsonmackay I mean, if you've got time, if you've kind you know what would how would you quickly define the Amber method for people? you know of Because we're going to get people signing up to your boot camps. We're going to get people listening to your podcast, which is life changing. And i mean just a little aside, when I'm cleaning or prepping for a guest, I'll play their episodes. And as I'm doing stuff, if I stop and take up my phone to write a question, I know it's a good point that made it. It's inspired me. But if I stop and just listen to it, 01:03:43.01 iandawsonmackay I know it's a really, it's I'm a really feeling that podcast moment or I'm feeling that tip or what they're saying and with your show a lot of times I stop and I'm just, holy hell it's like she's fixing something I've got inside me. You know that episode I think you were talking about getting rid of shame. 01:04:01.74 iandawsonmackay i wish I felt cleansed a bit after it because I was holding on to emotional clutter. And then I was like, geez, that ah that was amazing. It's like I needed it at that moment. And I think that's why your show works so well. it's You get rid of emotional clutter. 01:04:19.26 iandawsonmackay mental, cognitive clutter, it's much as physical clutter. So you, it's almost like a therapy session and a cleaning with it. So obviously I'd love to have your back on. and I cannot, your show is life changing. But what 01:04:33.53 Amber a You're like going to make me cry. This is, thank you. 01:04:37.07 iandawsonmackay Honestly, you know that's why i was every episode I was going into, they were like, oh, I've got a whole podcast I could potentially do on that. And I know we're over our time just now, but for i what can we do going forward? How can we keep this momentum? that you know like would Start listening to your show. But how how can we use the Amber method? And then how do we get in touch with you for boot camps and things like that? 01:05:02.02 Amber Well this right now I've been working on ah My website for a while like I had a really crappy website For a couple years I did it myself and then finally I decided to get a real professional website made and it's not quite done yet, but it will be soon, um So when that's done, I am going to do like a ah boot camp and stuff like that. But for right now, I have the podcast and the Facebook group that people can come to. um And on all my episodes for Declutter Your Chaos on my podcast, I have a link that they can go to the Facebook group. And then as soon as my website's ready and I can, you know, 01:05:52.30 Amber Like on the website, it's gonna be so cool. So I'm gonna have like, there's, it's almost done. So I know what's on there. And so I have the the amber method and then I have all these little tips that you can use. And then I have all these this recommended reading because I, I mean, that's how I, 01:06:15.83 Amber i I read like so many books and that's how I continue to grow. And you know I don't think there's anything like a, you don't go to decluttering school. you know you like you just you just like I teach people whatever has worked for me and it it has been relatable and it has been giving them results, which is just like the most rewarding, most exciting thing ever. 01:06:41.89 Amber but um Anyway, the po the the the website will be done in hopefully a couple weeks. And then when that's ready, people can ah have a course that they can take that goes along with this accountability group. 01:07:00.09 Amber And so it's just like a little bit more involvement than you would be getting in the Facebook group and um You know more just more basically like more connection more um you know online um like virtual meetings and um and then the course actually is cool because It's everything you just said. It's decluttering. i teach I teach you how to declutter your space step by step because I'm all about step by step. I'm not gonna be like, oh, here you good luck. It's step by step, but it's also decluttering your mind and body and the mental clutter, the emotional clutter. And um I take, 01:07:53.53 Amber tiny little pieces. Like today, we're just gonna take one massive deep breath and see what that feels like. And then tomorrow we're going to do a body scan just from here to here. Then the next day we're gonna do a body scan from here to here. And again, like I was telling you earlier, it's all about like feeling safe in your body. 01:08:21.55 Amber But that way all these external things are not required for you to feel safe. 01:08:29.56 iandawsonmackay I love that. That made so much sense. 01:08:31.13 Amber And that that's all in the the course. And we'll talk about that on the podcast too, but yeah. 01:08:38.63 iandawsonmackay So we've we've got to do a round two and going around three because there's so many different rabbit holes I want to go into. But I know we're over our time. And I cannot thank you enough for coming on because honestly, your podcast is life changing. But for those listening, say no matter what stage they're at, 01:08:54.89 iandawsonmackay And I know you give out weekly challenges, but what would you want people to come to you and say, I heard you on Ian's podcast and I really want to get clean and declared, et cetera, and, you know, calm my chaos. And I did this. What would you want that action to be? Would it be tackle one room? Would we tackle a space? you what What thing do you think would help everybody listening? 01:09:21.33 Amber I love this. Okay, so ah them the biggest thing, it's not what you expect, the biggest thing is gonna be for you to have a moment to yourself. So I i would i would want them to close their eyes, 01:09:42.70 Amber First, find like a peaceful spot where you're not going to be interrupted by any animals, any children, any people. just We're talking like two minutes. Everybody can do this. And just to stop and pause and to feel their feel gravity pulling you towards the earth. 01:10:07.84 Amber and feel the contact of wherever your body is meeting the surface that you're touching, standing, sitting on, whatever. And then to take a deep breath and feel your lungs fill up. And then feel your body really relax. And then, once you do that, open your eyes As if it's a brand new, you're seeing everything for the first time. And then you will, I can almost promise you, you will make whatever environment you come in contact with a little better. Like because you're going to feel not 01:11:02.61 Amber chaotic inside and you are going to, you're not even probably going to think about it. You're going to just go over and you're going to like put a dish in the dishwasher or you're going to, you know, like you're going to do something that will reflect this peaceful state that you just found inside you. And I mean, maybe you'll like, 01:11:30.16 Amber Maybe you'll declutter your whole garage. I don't know, but that is what I would want to leave people with is, is to, to first change your internal state. Cause that only takes two minutes or less. And then you will find that you are, you have so much more power over your external state. 01:11:57.73 iandawsonmackay I love that. I'm definitely going to have to make that as a video and pull out people because that, I think, is going to help so many people. And so for now, is it just your um Facebook group? 01:12:09.87 iandawsonmackay Are you on Instagram? How how can we follow along on this amazing journey? 01:12:12.14 Amber Yeah, yeah. Thank you. It's declutteryourchaos is on Instagram and that's it. Yeah. So it's just my podcast, declutteryourchaos, and then I'm at declutteryourchaos on Instagram. And then um once you, if you listen to the podcast and you like it, then come join us in the Facebook group. 01:12:35.09 iandawsonmackay Well, that's...