00:00:00.47 Next Level Guy Well, too sick. Well, thank you so much for coming on. It's an absolute pleasure to feature you. I followed you on social media now for so long, but how do you explain who you are and what you do? Because you're an awesome guy, but how would you explain who the man Damon Rider is? 00:00:19.40 Damien Rider Well, I mean, I would say I'm an athlete at first, like an extreme adventure athlete. I just travel around the world and just do little adventures that I want to do that no one else has done. I don't do it just to break another world record or for an ego to say I'm the first person to do it. 00:00:36.27 Damien Rider You know, I just fear if no one else has done it, then I ah don't even know it's possible. So I've just got to work out how I do it. You know, and I just changed my mindset. As soon as I pick an event, and the events come in very quickly to my head, like within 45 seconds, I'll know that I'll be able to do something. And then right at that moment, I just get started with no doubt whatsoever. And I just start training right there. And then I don't wait till Monday or Sunday or anything for it i just my whole mind so shifts straight towards making sure I get that effect done. 00:01:10.71 Next Level Guy I love it. I love that mentality that you have of just, I'm going to do this. and You know, there's no such thing as impossible. It just hasn't figured out a way to do this yet. You know, you talked about in your life coaching on your site about how you want to change people from looking at the perception of mistakes. 00:01:29.84 Next Level Guy to actually solutions. Stop looking at the faults, look at what how you can fix it. And I love this, like you said, you've cured your PTSD through exercise. You know you have all these um amazing things, but could you explain a little bit about your childhood and your upbringing and what led you to that point, do you think? 00:01:47.68 Damien Rider Yeah, sure. So it's funny, I've kind of gone full circle. So I'm back living in the town called Glenelg, which, are you know, incidents happened. And then I spent 30 years like just away, traveling around and I've come back and I feel really grounded. And you know what I'm about to talk about is is pretty much just down the road from what happened and you know there's a jetty that's out the front of where I live now which I used to sleep under when I was like six and seven just because all the child abuse and the domestic violence and everything that was happening in my home life and you know I'd have to run out of the house naked sometimes at six and hide in rock caves and s sleep there for a while and you know from the age of six till nine I guess you know it was very sporadic for me to 00:02:28.50 Damien Rider live on the streets and at home and still try and put myself through school and still keep a smile on my face and keep on going and really you know you touch on it before that that's where I had like my first connection with breath and breathwork you know just sitting in these rock caves you know, in total fear of, you know, what's, what I've just seen and what I've just happened, what's just happened to me at home to be able to just focus on my breath, to keep myself warm, to keep myself calm, just to listen to the ocean. So I started to get a real connection with that new environment around it. You know, my resilience just started getting built up from there. And, you know, even though it was like a tragedy, tragedy, what was going on and, you know, experiencing things that no one really should. 00:03:12.91 Damien Rider It's built me to who I am now, you know, so all the events that I've done, they're kind of like even the first one when I paddled 800 kilometres in the ocean by myself. Well, I was able to do that because I just thought, well, whatever I'm going to face in the ocean, it's never going to be as hard as what I face as a kid. So let's just get going. You know, so it's, uh, you imagine, uh, he'll PTSD, that was from the ocean paddler as well. We're just spending that time at 17 days in the ocean by myself and really just looking at my whole life and dissecting it all out like every single moment of my life and you know there was no one else to turn to or talk to and no vices or anything couldn't go get off and go and train I couldn't have a drink with boys couldn't do anything like that you know it's just me and my thoughts and sometimes it got really loud and you know it was tough for me as well then 00:04:04.70 Damien Rider with the emotional pain and come the physical pain as well. So I could feel when I was paddling everywhere that I was struck as a kid or thrown against the wall. And, you know, so I was feeling that pain in my body, but it was also releasing at that same time and just being able to really desensitize the emotions that were trapped inside of me and just be able to take in new information like the movement of the world around me and really just get out of that tunnel vision and just open the world up as wide as I can. and You know, that's what I share to other people now, like I created a form of... 00:04:37.59 Damien Rider New form of breath work meditation called one breath meditation and just puts a whole lot of different elements in it but one of them is just being able to open up your mind a little bit wider and get out of that tunnel vision because most people live in that tunnel vision and if your problem is this big it takes up about 10% of your whole life as soon as you open up that tunnel then that little speck is pretty much nothing you know so to be able to just see the world around us and see that you know there's a bigger picture out there than what's going on in our head and just be able to get in tune more so with the environment around us and the movement and the vibrations of everyone and the connection with everyone else. And you know, I think that's important for people just to be able to get out of their head and get out of the emotion of whatever they went through in the past. And also just be able to create that movement, you know, just be able to keep moving forward and keep taking those steps because really that's all we can do. We can't go back. 00:05:32.35 Damien Rider You know, for me, as anything that goes on in my past or even in the present moment, I just take it as, you know, what can I learn from this and what's beneficial? or I don't really look at the negatives on anything. It's just more so, you know, what was positive about that or a change in situation. How does this benefit me now to be able to keep moving forward and keep working towards that solid goal and that focus going forward? Because as I said, that's the only way that we're going. 00:06:02.00 Next Level Guy It says a lot about your character and your resilience. You know that you can look at that now and see you know you can see the bright spots and you can be helping so many people who have potentially gone through that. you know That would have crumbled a lot of people. 00:06:15.92 Next Level Guy was it Were you holding on to a lot of anger during this time? or Was it a struggle? I mean i probably spent my early 20s rueing on being bullied in school and feeling like I was the black sheep of the family and not fitting in and not being able to connect to people. How how did you deal with this time? because i I mean, you absorb your own problems and you think it you're the only one going through it. But you never see worse because we're so focused on our own our own shite, so to speak. how How did you deal with that? Because I couldn't imagine something like that. How how did you deal with that? Were you using drink and drugs to send them namut, do you think? 00:06:53.70 Damien Rider Yeah, look, I mean, I use all sorts of vices along the way. And there was definitely a lot of aggression, you know, like I grew up, you know, where violence was just a natural part of my life around me. And although I tried to be not a violent person, it was just, you know, you're a product of your environment as well. So, you know, there was, I just, and the whole thing was, I just wasn't taught how to deal with my emotions and what they actually were, you know, so emotionally unintelligent. 00:07:21.17 Damien Rider that I would just lash out instead of being able to talk and discuss things and have conversations as, you know, men should have. And I didn't really have any role models as well. So I really just internalized everything. And, you know, for me, that was good and bad. You know, it's good now, but at the same time, you know, back then it kind of wasn't. And, you know, I mean, I use a lot of ice as a drugs and alcohol and you name it, you know, sex addiction and going from one girl to another just trying to find something, you know, some some sort of self worth or, you know, someone to acknowledge me or just to see me or just to whatever, you know, like trying to be, you know, the nice guy as well. 00:07:52.83 Next Level Guy No. 00:07:59.87 Damien Rider And, you know, as we know, it's, you don't want to be the nice guy, you just want to be like a good man. So it took me a while just to work that out as well, what what that difference is. You know, I've been a nice guy and people seeing you as a nice guy to to a good man. 00:08:17.91 Next Level Guy I mean, you've certainly made an amazing transformation and, you know, you see how many people you're inspiring and helping with your challenges and with your know your life coaching, etc. But you said you spent a lot of your 20s wasted. Was it a pivotal moment or was it, I think you were saying it was the paddle boarding when you started getting sore and feeling the pain, but it kind of helped you kind of feel grounded and in that moment. Was it the paddle boarding that helped you kind of think, 00:08:45.74 Next Level Guy um but I'm designed for more than this. I can change this world by following my own vision and stepping out of you know the the shackles of conformity. 00:08:56.84 Damien Rider Yeah um I mean definitely like I always knew I had more in me my whole life even when I was a little kid you know I would do a lot of things that other people wouldn't and you know I was always a natural athlete and I was like hyper intelligent like at school even I would just get in trouble but I was just like fuck this just seems too easy you know what's going on here and So I was just, yeah, I mean, I always knew I had it in. I just didn't know how to deal with it. And as I said, I just didn't have mentors to be able to guide me in the right way. So I just had to try and work it out myself. And along the way, which was super tough, you know, it's a lot of lonely times as well. I've always grew up with a lot of people around me and putting a face on, let's say, but, you know, I wasn't really finding the depth within myself to be able to really bring out and shine who I was. And yeah, then the paddleboard adventure was 00:09:45.53 Damien Rider You know, that was a big turning point in my life, you know, completely changed who I was. And, you know, it wasn't long before that, I was found gassing myself in a car, you know, I was found probably, you know, three seconds, four seconds before it was complete lights out. You know, just everything had just got too much for me. And not then it was right then, you know, I could hear the police and the ambulance sirens coming. I was sort of stumbling down the road, just spewing up all like, 00:10:15.29 Damien Rider just gasoline vapors and stuff and yeah I just had a look at myself right right in that moment I thought you know what is it that I want out of life and where do I want to be and I just went back to the ocean I just start surfing again and paddling and paddle got this paddle board and paddled out in the ocean for about two kilometers and I felt very vulnerable out there and I hadn't been out that far on a paddleboard before. I'd surf most of my life, but and not on a paddleboard. And then I just came in and i started looking up world records for paddleboarding. And then I thought that's what I was going to do. So I just pretty much stopped my whole life and just started training and did everything I could and put people aside and just really focused on myself to do something I knew I was going to be proud of and something no one else has done before. and 00:11:01.10 Damien Rider I thought yeah I would go back to just a normal life. I was starting a skincare company and a compression wear company as well after that, like at the same time. But then after I finished a hundred kilometers, I came into the beach and I just thought, how fuck can I just bottle this up for people? I don't know what's just happened to me over these 17 days, but I know it's something special. I've got to work it out what the hell it is. And then I just spent the next nine years just putting myself in the most uncomfortable situations, you know, underwater, on water, on land, in the air. Everything that everyone fears, basically, just to work out how I stay calm and how I can translate that to simple terms and simple articulation for other people to be able to understand. And then, you know, this last, as I said, you know, I've come back here to my, the town that I grew up in. 00:11:51.07 Damien Rider And, you know, for a year, I just consolidated everything. I just chilled out. I didn't do events. I wrote nine books just on the subjects and really just pulled everything together. All the information I'd gathered over the years and the tens of thousands of people I listened to had gone through all sorts of trauma on my travels and just really worked it out. So now it's time for me to go out again, just with, you know, still do events, but completely different, less purpose-focused and more open-hearted. 00:12:20.13 Damien Rider I guess, you know, to be able to share, you know, still what's possible in life, but just, you know, the gratitude of life as well. Let's say, you know, the importance of life and love and connections and and communities as well. And just really showing people that they're not alone and, you know, to get out there and trust yourself and, and do what you want to do and live how you want to live. 00:12:47.84 Next Level Guy Because it is truly amazing the things you've done. And from some of the points you've been at to say, Noah, there's more to me. You've found your sort of your reason for living. And I think if you don't see it, you kind of see it's like a video game. You see a wee bit more of the map as you go and you investigate the the level. And then you do a challenge and you get a wee bit more and a wee bit more. and It's amazing to see you. And that's one of the main reasons I wanted you on, because you had been at some of the lowest points in life and you came back stronger. But you're going back and helping people. And I remember the first time I actually moved on from my own depression was when I realized just sitting thinking and talking about problems just keeps it alive. I needed to be going out and doing stuff and sort of moving forward. I mean, you said that you were kind of self-destructive when you were younger. 00:13:39.79 Next Level Guy But you didn't really change that. Do you think you use that part of you to make to take on these challenges? Because when you look at your challenges, it's a who's who of? You fucking what? Who runs a marathon with a mattress on their back? Who climbs up ah you know an air balloon and meditates on it and then jumps off skydiving? 00:13:58.95 Next Level Guy you're Some of your challenges are truly amazing, but do you think you use you turned that dark side of you? you know Is it like the Carl Jung kind of shadow work? You made pay patients with your demons and made them more effective to help you do what you want to do? 00:14:18.74 Damien Rider Yeah, I mean, definitely there's a there's a part of that. And I've thought about that a bit, you know, when, um you know, people ask me, what do you think your life would be like if that didn't happen? You were here, you know, we'll just still be doing these things now. and And the answer is, yes, like, really, I've just gone back to who I was. Now, when I was younger and gone through you know late teens and 20s I was still doing extreme sports but instead you know I'd be in like Chamonix in the French Alps or something and had ah like a girlfriend there with me and she would just be freaking out because ah you know they'd come back and like oh he's on this triple backflip off a cliff and like for me I was just like well I'm either gonna stick or I'm gonna die like he gives a shit either way I'm fucking it's gonna be good right so I kind of live like that a lot you know like everything 00:15:06.44 Damien Rider Every day could be my last day, so let's just fucking go for it. But now it's, so I still live the same except now in set and then changed it on the paddle. So the paddle people like, how do you know you can make it? Like this is, there's a high probability that you're going to get fucking eaten by a shark. I'm like, well, you know, I'm willing to die for what I believe in. But after day five of that, it completely changed. And now it's, I'm willing to live for what I believe for. 00:15:32.30 Damien Rider So now instead of like living for day by day, I still live in the present moment, but I'm looking at 50 and a hundred years ahead. Like I'm here for a fucking long time. You know, if I can't take my life and 21 sharks can't take my life, I'm here for a long time. 00:15:45.26 Damien Rider don't So I'm still going to do what I do, but I just have that more trust in myself, you know, and it's because I've done all these things on a negative sense that now I just use it as a positive sense and just go right and step into it and go, well, this is who I am. 00:15:48.90 Next Level Guy Heh. 00:15:59.72 Damien Rider You know, and it's just not on a suicide mission at all. It's just, I have so much trust in myself for what I've been able to do. And ah again, you know, I had that time to reflect in the ocean on the paddle. 00:16:10.75 Damien Rider to look back at everything that I've done and everything that I should be proud of and everything that I've been able to achieve by myself to be able to keep going forward and go, right, you know, let's see what's possible for myself and humanly possible for everyone else. That's physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually as well. You know, let's, uh, let's explore this life. And, you know, I'm here for a long time, but I'm getting busy. 00:16:34.40 Damien Rider living right now and doing all that I can. And I learn as much as I can. And I'm constantly learning and reading and sharing and doing everything that I can just to, you know, not so much just use it in a coaching aspect, but also just to, you know, I'm my biggest client. You know, I just everything that I learn, I test on myself and I, it helps me articulate a lot of the emotions that I go through during my events because There's, I mean, there's emotions that don't even have names for it that I experienced, like you said, you know, like meditating on top of a hot air balloon, you know, climbing up the side of it at 10,000 feet, you know, what, like, where is that emotion in the, in the dictionary that you can feel in that moment, except for the gratitude and present, you know, but there's so many more emotions that are going on in your mind that they just don't, there is just no words for it. You know, some call it nirvana, some call it enlightenment. 00:17:28.74 Damien Rider you know, but it's just like in that beautiful peaceful space where there's no past, there's no present, there's no future. It's just like, you know, completely blank of like being internal of of who you are, you know, and that's for me, that's, it's an incredible moment to be able to have with myself, but it's also a lonely moment as well because It's very hard for me to share these things with other people because there's not too many people climbing up the side of hot air balloons that I can talk to about it. you know people 00:18:00.88 Damien Rider can get it, they go, Oh, yeah, that sounds cool. But it's like, it's more than it's fucking cool. Like, you know, if I fall, I'm fucking dead, you know, but I trust myself to be able to do that, you know, and do all these events. And, you know, for me, that's, that's the biggest thing to be able to share with other people, you know, it's probably the biggest lie that we've told that everything's hard. I think everything's easy, you just got to put in the work and do it. 00:18:27.41 Next Level Guy like can Let's just thank you when you're talking about that. now of how When I did my skydive, I was in a tangent with somebody and I apparently kicked like a worm the whole way down. you know because i was just When you see it, you're kind of like, whoa, like yeah your your life flashes. But it opens you up, that part of you that you you know if you survive that, you go, OK, what's next? What am I going to do next? And a lot of people never get that point. 00:18:53.02 Next Level Guy Because you said you had a mission in another interview where it was to find the strongest version of yourself. What but was it? Was it at that paddle boarding you wanted to see where your limits lie? Because you said that you never wanted to be confined by the the expectations of someone else. So you mean like you're free diving where you just kept going down and farther and farther till you found you were comfortable hundreds of meters down in the water with a single breath, you know, you're climbing up and jumping off hot air balloons, you're doing all these amazing things. Is that what, it goes back to that point where you said you were living thinking this might be your last day when you had the domestic violence, etc, that you've turned this now into a challenge to see what you're capable of as much as moving on from that? 00:19:42.94 Damien Rider Yeah, definitely. I mean, I don't think, well, in my experience, most people only live at about five to 10% of their potential. i just There's so much limitations that they put on themselves and self-doubt and opinions from other people that are gathered that layers over the years. But for me, I don't have that. I don't have the self-doubts and I don't have the opinions of other people. I accept other people have have their own opinions, but at the same time, you know I just realize they're not me. 00:20:12.41 Damien Rider You know, so even let's go back to the hot air balloon climb. You know, and people are saying, can you not do the climb? Like you've jumped off the top of one before with a parachute on, but can you not do the climb or can you at least use a parachute when you climb up? And I'm like, why would I wear a parachute? You know, that's me planning on something going wrong and falling. I don't plan on anything going wrong. I'm just going to get to the top. And I'd be like, well, what happens if you fall? 00:20:37.97 Damien Rider I'm like, well, I know what happens if I fall, I hit the ground, I'm dead, but how cool is it gonna be when I get to the top? So for me, you know they're thinking of the negative side of things, which is understandable, but you know if there's no point in me thinking about those things because you know there's only one thing that will happen if I do fall. So I can't think, I'm gonna try and aim for a cloud or grab a duck's leg or aim for a pool or a bushes or what do I do if I do fall? you know I just fall to the ground, I hit the fucking ground. 00:21:07.66 Damien Rider But for me, so there's no point in me wasting my time and energy and effort into what could happen. Instead, I just work out how do I make this positive and how do I make it successful? So all my energy and all my effort just goes into that to make sure that I give myself the best possible chance to do what I said I'm going to do and everything and I say I'm going to do I end up doing. 00:21:30.53 Damien Rider And everyone says it's impossible. I mean, you know, 19 world records, everyone said they were all impossible to do, but I just think they're fucking easy to do now. Like I look at things and just go, well, yeah, why can't I do it? You know, I've done all these other things. So why can't I do this? So most people have, you know, they're subconscious when they go into, let's say, starting a business or doing it, going into even running a marathon for the first time. 00:21:53.73 Damien Rider you know, their subconscious goes into all the times that they thought they failed in life or they haven't been successful at something or they've given up or something. But for me, every time I go into an event, my subconscious just goes into all the times I've been successful and all the times I've got through and I've done these events and these things that people thought were impossible. So why can't I just do this one as well? So for me, there's just no, no doubt in and anything that I do or in anyone else as well, you know, to be able to, 00:22:23.71 Damien Rider have that calm, focused mindset, I think that's what's important for people and just, you know, think of your purpose, your passions and what you want to do in life and everything will come together from that. 00:22:38.10 Next Level Guy I love that attitude of like, well, I know what the worst thing is if I fell off this just now, but I'm not planning on doing that. So I'm just going to carry on climbing up to the top. What was going through your mind when you were climbing up there? Do you kind of zone into that moment? Are you just like one foot after the other? Or is it anything that kind of comes into your head? Do you ever sort of stop halfway up the ladder and go, 00:23:00.98 Next Level Guy What the hell am I doing? How do you... How alive in those moments do you feel? Because I can think of a skydive, like my heart was racing and I can remember the moment we jumped out. 00:23:15.05 Next Level Guy What goes through your head when you're doing that without a parachute, without sport, when you're running or you're paddling over like ridiculous distances, getting a tap of sharks? what What goes through your mind or does it quieten down from the thoughts, the thought they're overthinking, the emotions? that Do you finally feel centred in the part of the world? 00:23:40.48 Damien Rider Yeah, definitely. I mean, i was I was speaking to a mate about this the other day and, you know, he's like, when you do these events, like these long events, let's say, not that we'll come back to the balloon one, but when you do these long events, what you see a shark. 00:23:55.81 Damien Rider and shark circling. Like, do you ever think, what the fuck am I doing? I was like, yeah, I think that two minutes going into it. I think, what the fuck am I doing? You guys were happy. How are you able to keep on going? Then like, why don't you just turn around? I said, because I just laugh and think, well, this is my choice to put myself here. And of course, shit's going to come up. So just keep on going. You know, no one tells me to do these things. These are, this is my choice of what I'm going to do. So why would I pull out of it? So go on to the, 00:24:25.31 Damien Rider Gone to the balloon climb. It was funny because the one of the producers, he said, you know what would be great? You've got a GoPro on your head when you're climbing up the ladder. Can you just stop and look around and look down so the audience can see how high you are? I'm like, bro, I've never done this before. I don't know anyone who's ever done this before. I'm pretty sure I'm just looking up. There's no way I'm fucking looking down in this moment, right? 00:24:52.23 Damien Rider So then when I was, when I'm in the basket and I was breathing and I was keeping myself calm and just relaxing, you know, my heart rate, because up there at 10,000 feet, it's 30%, as you know, 30% less oxygen, the balloons moving 25 kilometres sidewards and upwards at the same time and it was minus, minus two degrees as well. So there's a lot of things that I couldn't train for on the ground, which were new. So I just had to just calm my nervous system and everything before I stepped out. 00:25:16.63 Damien Rider And just as I'm about to step out, his voice hit my head like, why don't you just look down, so I thought, fuck it. So I'm about to go on this like biggest, you know, challenge of my life. So I thought, I'm going to have a look over the edge of the basket. 00:25:27.83 Damien Rider So I looked down, but I was in such a calm space. It wasn't like, shh. 00:25:31.12 Next Level Guy As you do. 00:25:32.74 Damien Rider Yeah, I was thinking, wasn't thinking, shit, look how high we are. I just started of thinking, oh, look how amazing it looks from up here, you know, the different colors of the paddocks below and the different squares and shapes and colors and everything. So, you know, it was really calming for me. And then I just stepped out and just that first step, because again, I couldn't, that was when I did it, that was the first time I'd been on that road water as well, because I couldn't train on the ground So those there was so many firsts that were going on, I didn't know how I was going to feel. 00:26:02.88 Damien Rider And because of my weight on this rope ladder, it just dropped away and just become sideways. 00:26:04.67 Next Level Guy Holy. 00:26:08.92 Damien Rider So I had to like learn um'm in the moment where to adjust my arms and legs, like snake my arms up and have my legs over top and not just in the runs. 00:26:19.61 Damien Rider So I had to like quickly work that out with my feet and then just start, I'm like, okay, here we go. And now I've got a little bit of motion. I started going. And then I was about five meters out and my nervous system kicked in sympathetic nervous system kicked in and must have just thought, what are we doing? This is like, there's some danger going on here. We don't do this. So my leg just started shaking out of control, even though I was calm. But I just stopped and I just spoke to it and said, hey, we can't go back. All we can do is keep going forward. So let's just keep going. And then as soon as I did that, it just stopped and it was just become like this beautiful climb, even though I'm like, 00:26:56.64 Damien Rider full on tense the whole time hanging on this big I ever hang for 22 meters before it started to come up. So I'm just pouring on, hanging on to everything. But it felt like I had all the air and I was calm and I was relaxed and I started singing this song to myself and got up to this point that I wanted to just on the envelope of the balloon. And I just like, you know, didn't cheer myself on but it was just a checkpoint I thought okay we got this all right now let's just start climbing up and then once I got up and you know I never really celebrate too early until the event's done or that part of the mission's done and the moment I touch that board I just have this 00:27:37.94 Damien Rider Beautiful like internal breath to myself before I let out the external cheer and for me That's you know, that's what I like to capture. I like to capture when I decide Right. I'm gonna do this event So I capture that moment and then once I know I'm successful at it I capture that moment as well and for me that's what goes into my subconscious memory bank for the next time I going to do whatever challenge start a new business doing your event whatever it might be you know that's what i have in there of those beautiful moments and those beautiful breaths that i'm able to capture and then that's what triggers me going into the next events of what is possible that i can do so for me it's really just about doing those sorts of things and you know and i do so many different sorts of events just so i can 00:28:25.18 Damien Rider Yeah, understand myself and just have that growth. And I just said, you know, I did a bit of freediving as well. And that's probably um one of the most confronting sports because ah you're doing something so unnatural, you know, you're holding your breath and you're underwater as well. 00:28:39.51 Damien Rider And every time you go down another couple of meters, it's another test in the challenge that you have to do. So I like when you jump out of an aeroplane, once you jump out of one height, it's all the same. But freediving is completely different. 00:28:51.35 Damien Rider Holding your breath and going down and 00:28:52.12 Next Level Guy Moon. 00:28:53.38 Damien Rider You know, and obviously I calm myself with my breath and that's what I teach as well, how to calm yourself with your breath. But obviously when you're underwater, you can't do that. So I had to really try and understand the physiology of my body of what happens when I do take that calm breath without taking one. So I would find myself just, you know, my whole lats and lungs and everything would just relax my backward relax my legs would relax my face would relax and I was just able to keep on going down so I'm still going through the internal motions of taking that calm breath but without taking one so you know it's really having a connection of breath so I don't need to breathe so it's good you know to be able to 00:29:35.52 Damien Rider put myself in different situations like that. And even like, ah you know, it's funny how the the nervous system kicks in. And the first time I skydive, I didn't do a tandem, but I told him I had, I just wanted to experience it straight away. Like when I was getting my license and he's just supposed to have done like a tandem beforehand. I was like, Oh yeah, yeah, I've done one, I've done one. And I'll just thought, fuck, I'm just going to jump out. You know, give us a parachute and tell me what I need to do. And I'm jumping out. And there's like guys two guys hanging onto you. 00:30:04.04 Damien Rider But when I was going up, ah we got up to about 10,000 feet, and I'm sweating and stuff, and I'm shallow breathing, and I'm standing fucking, oh, I'm panicking. Like, why am I, I don't panic what's going on here. Like, I don't understand what's happening. And then so I jumped out, and I was just like, cat flipping in the air, and these guys are trying to hang on to me. It must've looked like it's some James Bond fight going on in the air with me just flipping around and thinking, what the fuck's going on here? 00:30:28.81 Damien Rider And anyway, then I landed and I was just like, shit, what's happening? So we went back up again to do another jump and I'll shallow breathing again and I'll sweat and I'll sing. I don't know why I'm pan why am i panicking. Is this just not for me? What's happening? 00:30:43.27 Damien Rider And we jumped out again and I had a better jump and then I was walking to do the third jump and I was thinking, what the hell is going on here? And then I was like, ah, you idiot. It's the fucking attitude. 00:30:55.16 Damien Rider I just wasn't used to being up at that attitude. So as soon as I knew that, because my nervous system had kicked in and the only relatable thing is the time I've been in. 00:31:00.57 Next Level Guy Bye. 00:31:04.62 Damien Rider fear or panic. So it drew all those emotions from a subconscious memory bank just to go, yeah, you're panicking your fear because it felt like that in my body because they're very similar. So I was like, ah, shit. So then when I went up there for the next time, then I was just totally calm. I sweat and have this beautiful jump out of there because I understood my nervous system. 00:31:27.51 Damien Rider then and and how it acts and reacts. So you know a lot of people sort of take that for granted, I think, or just start to react on what they naturally do in life instead of stopping to have a look. so You know, I call it going from bottom up. So as soon as your nervous system kicks in, just tell it, no, no, no, we don't act and react this way. We're calm now. This is a good moment for us. We're not fearful. We're excited. So just changing those words internally changes your perception of what's going on for you to be able to get through whatever it is. 00:32:02.38 Next Level Guy Oh yeah, because i I knew you were going to be a nightmare to interview because there were so many different avenues I wanted to go into. I mean, that answer alone has given me 20 questions to go. Because when you see the video of you climbing up the ladder to the balloon and it starts coping to the side and you're going sideways and you're thinking, and what what goes through your mind? Because I don't remember going to my skydive, I was like, why is the door not there? 00:32:25.28 Next Level Guy like my brain wasn't working, it couldn't comprehend while we were going out because I was panicking that there isn't a reason for the door because we're not coming back down in the plane. And there's just my brain was just trying to go, but surely, wait, wait. And it was just that moment of like, that and to do these things. And I love how you said that you don't let so negative self talk in. 00:32:45.77 Next Level Guy And you know ah was that leading point you said there about you kind of snapshot only the good points? So you build up this mental toolbox of you're not jumping out as the Damien from the last challenge. You're at a new level because you've added the extra level of good padding that you've taken from that last place. Is that how you avoid this level of avoiding negative thinking? Because you've done a lot of what people say are impossibles. 00:33:13.78 Next Level Guy And you said, well, no, they're not impossible till I do them. How do you keep this mental crap out of the way to achieve this amazing success? 00:33:23.93 Damien Rider I just look at everything in a more logical sense, really. I mean, people will say it's impossible, but then I have to look at them and think, well, who are you to gauge what's what's possible or impossible? 00:33:35.41 Damien Rider Like when was the last time you climbed up a rope ladder, let alone at 10,000 feet. So I appreciate what you're saying, but you kind of got no weight on it. 00:33:43.07 Next Level Guy ah 00:33:44.22 Damien Rider And then how do I know? If I've never done it, then how the fuck do I know as well? The only way I know is just to go and do it and then I'll find out. So I kind of just keep things just simple that way, you know, i don't really overthink things too much. So I mean, as I said, like the events take about 45 seconds for me to work out, you know, and it's even let's say the first time I jumped off a balloon in Memphis. 00:34:05.79 Damien Rider One of the producers said to me, he goes, you know, if you could do anything at all, what would it what would you love to do? And instantly in my head, I remember being in a hot air balloon, like at the age of 12, and there was like so many people in the basket, and it will you were all squashed in and everything. And I remember thinking, and fuck, I wish I could sit up on top. It'd be so much better with no one around me. So I just said, oh, yeah, I want to go up and watch the sunrise on top of a hot air balloon. and then ah if I'm up there, I might as well jump off. And he said, have you ever skydived? And I said, nah, so I better go learn to skydive. And that's how long it takes. And I'm like, sweet. So then I went to Arizona and started getting my skydive license and then started planning it and got a guy who who would agree to me to sit on top of his hot air balloon. And, you know, at that time, no one else had ever done that either. 00:34:53.64 Damien Rider So we didn't even know if it was going to be able to hold my weight up on top of a hot air balloon as well to be able to put a platform up there and it to hold my weight so there was like all these things I needed to work out for the first time and I kind of just dimensionally jump into different timelines and just go, yeah, it's possible. And once I see myself that I can do it and have done it visually, then I just what make it happen. You know, just everything just kind of comes together for me. So it's just make sure I have that clear vision of, yeah, this is possible. And then from that moment, there is no doubt. and 00:35:29.08 Damien Rider Again, you know if I do things that no one else has done, then I don't have a frame of reference of what is possible or impossible. I just trust myself that I'm going to be able to do it. 00:35:41.48 Next Level Guy And is that sort of because you've said about how I think it's your on Instagram when you were talking about how you enter a flow state when you're up there, but you said there just about visualizing it. You see it happening and then you kind of look into it. And is that what you do when you go into your sort of your flow state that you you look and go, well, I've seen myself doing it, so I'm going to go do it. You know, are you now at the point of where there is no kind of limitations for you? You're kind of trying to find your outer, you know, are we Do you think the majority of men are stuck because they're not pushing themselves past their campers on? They're stuck in a societal bubble that they're they're not stepping out of and we need to do some more stuff like this? 00:36:24.59 Damien Rider Yeah, definitely. Especially as a man, like you need to test and challenge yourself all the time to be able to keep on growing, to know who you are and to be a better protector and provider for yourself and loved ones around you as well. You know, there's definitely men are losing that aspect and trying to take the cheap way out of things and the hacks and everything without going through the work. So then when something does happen, it's just like the fucking end of the world for them rather than all right, 00:36:52.31 Damien Rider I've been through this before. What did I use last time? All right, let's use those tools. Okay, I need to gather some new ones. Let's and learn some new ones because this is going to come up again as well. you know So for me, again, going back to my paddle, yeah I couldn't really think about one of the sharks that was circling me or knocking off my board, knocking me off my board. because I knew there was going to be another one coming up ahead, so I couldn't just gather all these things. so I was just being able to learn how I say calm in those moments to be able to keep going forward. So I think men definitely need to test and challenge themselves. And it's not about they need to climb up hot air balloons or get chased by sharks or anything like that. It's just little things, you know, and just start having fun with, you know, if someone says, fucking, this is the hottest chili in the world. 00:37:38.39 Damien Rider eat this and it's like oh what but this is going to happen that's going to happen just fucking eat it you know and just see what happens but have fun with these things you know the more time that you can have fun with different little challenges in life it's the same process that you go through with big challenges in life as well so the more that you're practicing how you get through these things and what you actually did and start reflecting on 00:37:47.40 Next Level Guy Mm. 00:38:01.28 Damien Rider you know what you did in that moment then that's what changed your whole mindset for other issues that come up whether they're business personal physical challenge whatever it may be any decisions that you need to make but then you start to practice how you deal with things mentally and emotionally as well so there's no event there's no anything that will come up that i would think oh fuck this is going to test me and challenge me and You know, sometimes it sucks, but now I've just been able to look at things a different way. Like I did this paddle in the Maldives for 480 kilometres over nine days. 00:38:39.01 Damien Rider And then, and that was going to be like sort of my last endurance event, but I didn't really learn too much out of it in a certain sense. I learned about community, but not any more mental growth, let's say within myself for it. And then I did the balloon climb and there's probably only a couple of things I learned out of that on the extreme sense. So I was just kind of like, oh shit, have I learned all I needed to out of this? And that's why I took that time out. And then, 00:39:04.67 Damien Rider Recently, I pulled this 3.8 ton truck for 12 kilometers by myself, and I thought this is going to break me. you know this is I really want to do it some sort of challenge that's really going to test me, and and you know it's either going to be great or it's going to fucking break me. And I ended up doing it in three and a half hours, and it literally took me three minutes to recover. And the next day, I was running again. you know i was just thinking And I was kind of disappointed. I was thinking, fuck, no like where's my threshold? like Where's it at? 00:39:33.26 Damien Rider So then I really just started to have a look at these events that I do just in such a different way. And and again, you know, just going back to a more spiritual sense of why I do these events as well. Like sure, there's the extreme side of everything and what I want to learn to be able to share with other people. but you know there as I said before it's you know it's such a spiritual moment to be able to sit on top of a hot air balloon and and watch the sunrise you know to be able to be the first person to do that or be alone in the ocean with not being able to see land and and watching the sunset you know these are just incredible moments that you know brings you really in touch with yourself and then really in touch with the environment as well and I think 00:40:16.78 Damien Rider Definitely as a man, these are things that we need to be able to do to be able to get into the flow state and understand. you know what it is that we're actually looking for because we live in such a fast-paced world and you know it's there's so much expectations that we put on ourselves and expected of us as well especially as men so it's just you know if we can put ourselves in a calming state knowing that shit's going to happen but we're all right doesn't matter what goes on like we're going to be out able to get through this and it's not to say that i'm 00:40:50.10 Damien Rider you know Things don't happen to me as well. like I'm still human. and Things still happen to me. But the difference is, worst possible scenario could happen in my life and it'd probably take me 10 hours and then I'm through it and I'm back solid again and I'm stronger and I've learned from it. I'm more resilient and I'm keeping on going and I've learned so much to be able to keep going. 00:41:13.13 Damien Rider you know, nice and calmly. and And it's because I test and challenge myself all the time. So I'm always, it's not like I'm ready for it, but it's always there. I know I've got the tools and um know I've got to trust within myself and you know, things just come a little bit more natural. You know, there's a lot of wellness modalities out there and you know, they're called a practice for a reason because you practice them all the time. You know, we we just need to practice this resilience and what it actually is. And for me, I just think, 00:41:40.83 Damien Rider you know You always got to think of your goal and your purpose in life. And for men, it's really important to have a purpose. and We need a set of like achievements and accomplishments for ourselves and whoever we are with, our partners should understand that as well. like our purpose as man is should be our priority and then everything else stems around that instead of losing ourselves into our relationships as well you still do what you need to to be the protector and provider but we also need that sense of purpose with ourselves and that comes with testing and challenging yourself and understanding who you are and how authentic you can actually be because as you said before you know there's a lot of people 00:42:23.45 Damien Rider You know, they walked around with like these masks on and stuff and don't really know who they are. So unless you're testing and challenging yourself and putting yourself in these situations, then you don't know who you are or how proud of yourself you actually can't be. 00:42:36.05 Damien Rider And a lot of people say to me, Oh, I don't need to do this. But I say, well, how you know what you need until you do it. You know, so I've just done an event with a young kid and we just paddled across the Gulf here. 00:42:45.72 Next Level Guy No. 00:42:49.24 Damien Rider It was like 12 hours, 70 kilometres and we had to learn how to probably These like little surf ski things and he's I said to him what's the biggest fear and it's like ocean and sharks I said, it's the way let's say this paddle right let's train and do that. So we just paddled in the ocean across and you know, it's he just turned 27 and he's like, you know, really nice young kid and it was funny because we got about it was so rough like when we're paddling out and After about 15 kilometres, I nearly got thrown off on a little ski and my paddle came down and smashed the front of the little ski and I had like a bubble compass that was guiding us and they got snapped off into the water. So ready to go like another seven and a half hours without seeing land in front of us. And he looked at me as if to say, fuck, did we turn around? 00:43:37.04 Damien Rider And I could see it in his face and I was just like, look, you know, it's quite rough going back and you know, you don't like that. So it's probably, it's going to be longer, but it's probably going to be better if we just keep going forward. So we just kept going in his light looking thinking and thinking, we'd like drifting out to see like, Do you know where you're going? And I had to just remain calm and just like look at the ocean, look at the sun and everything as as a guide. But also I knew I needed to make sure he felt safe and calm. So I really took on that protective sense for him to be able to get across there. And we saw whales and and a shark and dolphins come with us for half an hour. A big sea eagle came and landed next to us. And there was a lot of things, more than a lot of pain going across there as well, like just screaming. but 00:44:23.79 Damien Rider How he changed on the other side was ridiculous. like He was pretty much as soon as we got over there through this challenge. and It was the biggest thing that he'd ever done. His voice changed, the way he walked changed, his whole mindset changed. like He went from like this nice kid to a good man. And it took him a few days. And I said and i gave him like a little bit of time and said, you know how you feel? And he goes, I don't know how to feel ah don't really know what's happened to me. All I know is the reality of my world has changed a little bit now. And I don't really understand why. So because I've been through all these events, it was nice to be able to help him articulate what he's actually feeling. And I just reminded him and said, look, you know, something, you know, special is going on. You've leveled up a lot. 00:45:13.88 Damien Rider What you want to try and think about is not go back down to the level that you were at before you did this paddle and be drawn back down to the people around you who have not done an experience, not had an experience like this and just keep leveling up. And it's not to say that, you know, you're better than anyone else because no one's better than anyone else, but you have had a new experience and you have gone up another level. So that's now your baseline of what's possible in life. 00:45:39.98 Damien Rider And from that, I mean, he had a bad relationship with his father who always had put his self doubt on him and lack of confidence within himself because of what was drawn on. He was able to have that conversation with his dad and sit down and just, you know, nut that out. and put all that to bed and now he's just got this amazing trust within himself so you know again that's just one example of why people should test and challenge themselves and you know in different events but also by itself as well it's very different and obviously the ocean's very different as well because I've done events on land and in the ocean and in the ocean with other people and in the ocean by myself as well and 00:46:22.58 Damien Rider You know, nothing beats it, just having a look at that open ocean and just not seeing land and not having that bounce back, as I call it. So when you're on land or if you're in a room, your thoughts just start bouncing back off the walls, back into you, and you keep running that same scenario through your head again and again and again and again. 00:46:41.08 Damien Rider But when you're out in the ocean, that scenario just goes out because there's no way it's coming back. 00:46:43.21 Next Level Guy no 00:46:46.82 Damien Rider And it still might be the same scenario, but you're looking at it in so many different levels until it's just 00:46:54.07 Damien Rider You know, because you do have that, just that openness and that beautiful way of thinking. And it's like you're in that feta brainwave stage where you're just nearly daydreaming. You know, you're awake, you're daydreaming, and and you don't think about the land behind you, or if you're gonna make it in front of you. You're just right in that moment, just feeling the emotions in your body then, and allowing those thoughts to just come out and just flow out freely, you know? So it's just, it's really incredible. 00:47:23.42 Damien Rider moments to be able to share with yourself and the whole sense of gratitude of what you're able to do. And also it's, you know, you, again, you know, you've told yourself to go in into that situation. There's no one holding you to it. So to be able to go there to have that sense of achievement. And, you know, it's not to say you need to paddle out in the middle of the oceans and or anything like that, but you know, I encourage people just to get out there, get a paddleboard, get a little surf ski and just paddle even a kilometer out and just sit there and just feel the environment, feel the movement, feel the vibration of the whole earth of what we're a part of, you know, just gives you that sense of belonging to a conscious collective. that We're all connected some way. 00:48:08.64 Next Level Guy because that's a kind of staging it just now is like I'm pre paddleboard shall we say you know I've got the nice car ah I've got the flat I was in a good job I've now got the most money I've ever had in my life and if I keep sitting there going what is the point there must be more to life than this there needs you know because society we're told as men you must be married by 30 kids by 40 you know you have to have the 2.5 kids and the the picket fence and the dog and that and you're like but problems that's not your path. um you know and You then judge yourself against people who do have it and feel inferior and and I think that's what I needed. I need to find my own goal like this. I mean the podcast helps me again speak to amazing people like you. I mean that answer alone will have inspired so many people but how do we get to that point because I think you said you you treated your paddling as like ah almost a 00:49:03.44 Next Level Guy a version of EDMR training. So you kind of healed yourself by just focusing on the next stroke, the next paddle, the next step with the car as you're pushing or the water you're pulling. Is that how we should look at these things? Is just a zone in on our actions and then just let things out and kind of feel in that moment? How can we start doing that while we're paddling and stuff to enter that flow state that you enter? 00:49:35.28 Damien Rider Well, I mean, a lot of people don't know their purpose. I think that's a big start and they say, you know, how do you find your purpose? But for me, it's whatever, you know, have a look at your life and wherever you've been fulfilled and what makes you happy naturally. You know, money is great. You know, we can all make money and we can all lose money and we can all have the cars and houses and all that sort of stuff. You know, it's just about putting the work in and get it. 00:50:00.59 Damien Rider You know, but there's more to it, you know, and again, you know, it just comes back to what your purpose is and what your passion is and what makes you fulfilled in life and what you want to be and how you want to be, you know, how you want to show up for yourself also, and just start making those adjustments to it. So, and just shift things around. So let's, you know, take a paddle boarding adventure, for example, you know, you get out there and So I personallyly think ah you know you're all enthusiastic. and Yeah, this is cool. I'm on the ocean. I'm going to do something good for myself. And you get to a point of thinking, what the fuck am I doing? I'm tired. I've got to go in. This is shit. But that's the moment when you've got to keep on going. know and Just have a look at things on a logical sense. of you know i'm only standing I'm not really doing anything. I'm standing on the paddleboard. and 00:50:49.07 Damien Rider I'm moving my arms with his paddle in the water and going along. You know what I mean? So that's kind of how I look at things. Even if it's, you know, I'm paddling a hundred kilometers for the day, let's say on a paddle board, then it'll just be, you know, for me, it's just easy. You just. 00:51:05.33 Damien Rider standing there and you're just paddling like, what's so fucking hard about it? I'm just doing it for a long time. That's all. So when these things come up in your mind, you've just got to keep on going through them. 00:51:12.66 Next Level Guy Yeah. 00:51:15.13 Damien Rider Just keep working through those things. And just all you need to focus on is keeping yourself calm. Keep yourself calm. okay How do I calm my breath? How do I calm my body? okay my shoulders are in pain my feet are in pain my hips are in pain okay how do I calm all those things down and then just instead of thinking of the pain just have that as your new baseline okay it's not going to get any better but it's probably not going to get any worse either so this is the pain that I'm dealing with right now that's my new baseline of what's normal and then you just keep on going through so for me that's how I keep going through the different stages and different levels so you know I know if I'm going into 00:51:53.20 Damien Rider a nine-day paddleboard event in the Maldives. I know my feet are gonna swell. I know I'm gonna be blurred vision. I know I'm gonna be in pain. I know I'm gonna feel lost out there. I know all these voices are gonna come into my head. 00:52:04.02 Damien Rider You know, I'm not going to be short of breath. I'm not going to dehydrate. I'm not going to get sunstroke. So I know all these things are going to happen. It's not like I preempt them, but when they do come, it's not like, Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening. 00:52:15.56 Damien Rider It's like, all right, here it is. Okay. This was coming. It was bound to happen. So let's just deal with it and keep on going because I've got two choices. I'd stop or I just keep on going. 00:52:24.34 Next Level Guy just 00:52:29.89 Next Level Guy um love but i love but I love how analytical it is. It's kind of like, well, I was expecting that. I planned this out. I've seen it in my head, so I know this is going to happen. I'm going to probably see a shark. I'll probably have to bump that on the nose. I'll lose a compass. I'll have a panicking name you know like companion. and Yeah, let's just get it done. And I love how you can control your emotions because you said about how emotional control should be taught at school. How can a normal person like myself, and when I did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I'm hoping to get back to it. It was the first time I ever felt in the moment because you had a big sweaty guy on top of you try to choke you out. So you can't be worried about your your drama, your depression, stuff at work, because if you do, 00:53:13.11 Next Level Guy lights out. How would you start teaching people to control their emotions? cause you know You said there when you lost your like your um compass that you just went, okay, I need to stay calm, just go forward. how How can we learn these sorts of things so that we can control ourselves to start being able to do these things? 00:53:34.11 Damien Rider So look, the best way is just obviously with your breath, but when you're in the moment, you know, it's hard to think of these tools. So what I suggest to people is when you do think of it, like, you know, we get those moments afterwards and go, fuck, I wish I had to handle that differently. I wish I could have done that. 00:53:52.38 Damien Rider Visualise in your head or take that breath or what you should have done in that moment right there and then don't wait for it to happen again. Because again, it's all about practice. You know, we've we're practiced the wrong way and we've practiced the wrong way in school of how to breathe. 00:54:04.97 Damien Rider You know, the teachers say big breath in, and everyone's like, you know, just breathe into your chest. So really what we're doing is practicing panicking. You know, we're not even breathing properly. So it's about, you know, changing the way that we breathe, the way that we think, the way that we transform things around. 00:54:14.55 Next Level Guy Yeah. 00:54:20.87 Damien Rider But it's also being able to step outside of your mind as well. I talk all over the world and people think, oh, if we're going fucking crazy, I'm talking to myself. I'm like, you know what? Everyone talks to themselves. But it's what we're saying and how we're engaging with them. And it's same like, you know, you could be sitting there on the computer and the music's playing in the background. You don't know. The music's just going in. There's no engagement in it. But then a song comes on that you like and like, oh, shit, okay, I'm into this. And then you sing along. 00:54:51.97 Damien Rider and then you disengage and come back it's the same thing with our head and all the voices that are going on in our head at the same time you know we can either choose to engage in it and have it affect us or we can just step away from it a little bit and just observe it and allow it to go past and the more that we observe these voices and We are able to see what they're actually telling us because if the same scenario is keep running through our head, it means we haven't learned what we need to from them. So as soon as we learn what we need to from them and take our own accountability and responsibility for whatever's running around in our head, then it changes and it morphs. And then we start seeing different layers of it, or it's just gone as well. So it's with different people who come and go out of our life as well. Maybe it's, 00:55:40.20 Damien Rider You know, you had a girlfriend who's something's happened and you can't get over them. You're only thinking of the good times and everything, but instead, or you might think of the bad times or what she's done, but we're able to just have a look at that and go, okay, let's, what did I learn out of this? And then that just starts to fade away and you have more of an appreciation of that time together rather than I was a shit time in my life or this or that, you know, looking at things in a negative sense. 00:56:07.09 Damien Rider Where I would just to have a look at things, all right, what did I learn? So long as, you know, if we're learning something out of every situation, then every situation is good for us, whether it's good or bad. 00:56:20.86 Next Level Guy Because I remember I had interviewed um Brent Smith, a lifestyle coach, and I think it was episode two. And he said, there's the first big aha I've had on the show when he said, you can change your story at any point. you know The thing that you're telling yourself, you know how we live by these stories we tell ourselves. And he said, you can just change it in seconds and live some on a completely different life. And I remember thinking, we can't. Don't be silly. And I tried it. And I was like, holy hell, this is life changing. you know And it was that moment of flight. I also was trying to get on the guy that did Headspace, the meditation app, because when I started using Headspace, I think it was 10 minutes for 10 days or something, they have this challenge on. And it was on about how just let a thought come in, think of it as a road and let it drug go past. You don't need to react to it. You don't need to kind of make peace with it, make sense of it. You just have to let it go. 00:57:14.26 Next Level Guy and I've always kind of fought bad emotions about ex-girlfriends and missing them and bad things have happened or ah bad things have said or did or whatever and now something I try to let it pass and I'm getting better at it and I think that's what we should teach kids is that mental toolbox of how to deal with jealousy, how to deal with anger. how to you know None of this is taught. You're taught how to add two plus two, but not how to deal with this internal, which could be a prison that you carry around in your head. And is this kind of going down to this one breath meditation that you kind of put out? Because there's that badass picture of you sitting under the water meditating. 00:57:57.22 Next Level Guy Do you think that's something that we need to learn is how to let the traffic in our heads go by and realize that's just our brain pumping out suggestions? It's not who we are. 00:58:08.99 Damien Rider Yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean, all this stuff needs to get taught in school and especially, you know, social media gives you the two emotions. I think I'd be happy with your life or you're depressed, you know, and then there's a big thing, you know, mental health's huge across the world at the moment. I was actually, I was talking to CEO of this mental health organization that does research on it. I said, well, can you tell me like, what is it that you're researching? You know, why are you doing the research? And you said, well, because everyone's going through something. 00:58:36.59 Damien Rider I said, so is that the problem? Everyone in the world is going through something. That's the problem with mental health. And he said, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a problem. You know, everyone's going through something. So I said, well, why is that a problem? If everyone's going through something, why is it a problem? Isn't it? Doesn't that just mean it's a natural part of life? We struggle, we learn, we succeed, we struggle, we learn, we succeed. I think that's what we need to be able to share with people. That A struggle is a natural part of life, keep on going. sorry But at the moment, it's being told that if you're struggling, there's something wrong with you. You need to go and see someone, you need to sort this out. But it's not, you know it's just about, okay, there is struggles and this is my choice to be able to do this, whether it's start a business, go in a relationship, break up with someone, whatever it may be. 00:59:27.27 Damien Rider but it is just a natural part of life and we need to be able to learn instead of showing away from it. It's the same as like You know, men get sick and they're, ugh! You know, it's like the fucking first time they've ever been sick. You know, like, man, you've been sick hundreds of times. You're not going to talk again through it. You know, it's the same sort of situation of, you know, in the age that we are now, there's nothing that's coming up that we haven't already gone through. So we should be able to get through whatever's coming up. Now, again, you know, it's not to say I'm the most chill, calming person in the world all the time. You know, I still have human experiences and, 01:00:02.50 Damien Rider you know lose my shit sometimes very quickly and it takes a lot as well you know just because i'm able to have a look at the situation and just be able to use the tools and keep calm and know that i can get through it as well and be able to have a bit of a laugh and you know there's still things that come up you know we're in relationships and that as well you know that i have to deal with and you know, especially the life that I live, it's, you know, I travel around the world jumping off hot air balloons, it takes a certain girl that wants to, you know, stop that sort of thing, you know, so I always get that, how are you going to keep doing this? and I'm like, well, fuck, this is just who I am. You know, it's just, you know, but it's hard for people to understand that. 01:00:40.47 Damien Rider I don't need to do these things, but it's just who I am. It's not like I'm still trying to find myself. I'm not trying to discover anything like this. It's just, I love having experiences in life, you know, and I want to experience everything that I can while I'm here. We don't know how long we're here for. So I just want to be able to do and live how I want to live. You know, in case tomorrow's my last day, I want to know that today's I'm doing what I want to be able to do and be able to share and be able to live with. 01:01:08.90 Damien Rider where I am and be with who I want to be with at the same time. yeah and But yeah, these emotions need to be taught in school definitely and just how to breathe and and connect with ourselves and you know going back to the one breath meditation. That's why I created that. and I was out surfing at this place called Neas and this guy I was doing, who I was surfing with, he was doing the meditation. Had some app that he was using for 12 minutes every morning. He's like, you want to do it with me? I said, no, no, I'm going to sleep in for that extra 12 minutes. And he's a little Tibetan bell ding. We'd go and that'd be like my little alarm. I knew it was time for me to get up. And I was talking to him about it saying that I needed to face, had like a lot of anxiety and everything. And I was talking to him about it saying, you know what? Tell me about your meditation. 01:01:52.95 Damien Rider And he's like, oh, it's a game changer for me. You know, it makes myself just so calm for the rest of the day. I can get through anything. This base level surf is like it's quite mechanical. It's on this reef and it's a beautiful spot. Neil was telling me about it. You know, you paddle out, your hair doesn't even get wet, you can catch these beautiful waves. You know, you get caught on the inside, you just go out to the channel and just such a back out. Like it's literally mechanical, this place is. 01:02:17.48 Damien Rider Then the next day, we'd gone out there and I caught a wave and then I watched him and he got pitched over the falls and he was stuck like whether waves were coming in. I could just see him panicking. I'm thinking, what the fuck's he panicking for? Why hasn't he just come over here? He told me yesterday, what you do in that situation. You just come over to the channel. So I'm sitting there just observing him for a while and he's just panicking. He's trying to hang onto his board and trying to get back on. He's getting thrown around in whitewashing and I called out to him. 01:02:47.51 Damien Rider And I said, I'll come over here. And he came over, and he snapped out of it, came over, and he goes, oh, I've got to go. And I said, what are you going for? And he's like, oh, I've got to go. There we go. And I was like, all right, I'm staying now. And then I spoke to him about it. I said, why why couldn't you call on your meditation? And he said, I couldn't call on it. So I instantly, in my head, I thought, OK, there's a place for it, but it needs to evolve a little bit because, I mean, this is ah practice that's you know it's created five to seven thousand years ago and things were a lot different than they are now so it just hasn't really evolved so I just need to add more elements in so I just decided to think about everything I've done in my life and all the therapies that I've gone through and all the 01:03:30.40 Damien Rider rituals and gurus You know, you name it. I've done it, you know Naked full moon washing crystals in the ocean water and fucking everything right everything I was trying to get rid of the demons that were going on in my head for such a long time fire 01:03:42.96 Next Level Guy good friday night 01:03:46.53 Damien Rider And so, yeah, so I was just gathering everything and just being able to understand what result I wanted for myself and for everyone else and be able to work backwards, like on a five level program of how we actually learn, you know, we're two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back. 01:03:48.39 Next Level Guy the 01:04:03.00 Damien Rider So we were learning an overlapping sense. and then what was important as well and gathering things like you mentioned the EMDR therapy so being able to just open up and allow your eyes to move around and we all do EMDR therapy which is eye movement. 01:04:17.84 Damien Rider to the sensitization reprocessing. And we all do it when we're like people watching, you know, everyone loves people watching. It's because you sit down in the cafe and you allow your emotions to come out while you're watching the whole world move around you, get your eyes moving from left to right. And same as well, when we're around a campfire, it might be 20 people around there and everyone just goes quiet for a while. Everyone's watching the movement of the burning embers just bouncing up and down. You know, so we all do these things naturally. And that's what I was doing in the ocean as well. so added that in there and EFT, which is emotional freedom therapy as well. And, you know, the works with like tapping, tapping certain spots and they think of like some trauma that's happened and where it's been. caught in your body and you start tapping at it 01:05:00.84 Damien Rider and starting to move it around. But I use the natural elements like the wind to get people to feel where the wind's hitting them. So then it's without focus on what you're actually thinking about or on that trauma. It just naturally goes to it. So your subconscious and your nervous system starts to act with the environment around you to hit those spots to be able to move them out of your body as well while you're taking in your information like watching the ocean movement as well. 01:05:26.94 Damien Rider and then be able to put that into a movement, so staying quiet and just walking up the beach for 15 minutes, using these tools to be able to look around and feel the wind and really just get in tune with what we lost along the way. Because when we grow up from the age of life zero to five, 01:05:43.91 Damien Rider We're exploring everything in life. You know, we have no fear. We have no doubts because no one's told us that if you run down the road, that you can trip over a rock and everything. So we just go for it. But we also, if you watch little kids, they do a couple of things. So a baby, when it breathes, its belly moves up and down. They don't move into their chest, their belly moves. So they haven't been told any other way to breathe so that we know that's our natural way to breathe. We should breathe in through our nose, inflate our belly and come out through our mouth. 01:06:12.98 Damien Rider Now we need to breathe this way and that's why we've got nose hairs because it blocks all the dust and everything, the bacteria that comes in, so it filters out and then we breathe out through our mouth, right? 01:06:24.41 Damien Rider So we know that's how our body's supposed to act and react with those situations. But you see little kids as well, when that when it's windy, they don't go, oh, it's windy. They turn their head and they feel the wind, like where's it coming from? Is it warm? Is it cold? Do I like this? So they're really in touch with their own senses and that's something that we start to lose as well. and Then on the sight sense, you know, you could be walking along the beach and one person might say, oh, it's rough out there. But me as a surfer, I go, oh, it's amazing out there. Oh, look at that beautiful little wave. So it's being able to see the world in a little bit different way by using those senses, those natural senses to be able to open ourselves back up. 01:07:05.31 Damien Rider and then that way it calms our mind down because there's other movement that's going on, there's other learning and the more that we can open ourselves up then the more we get out of that tonne of vision and we start seeing the world in just such a different way and such an open way and when we can do that then conversations that we have with people we're not just waiting for us to talk to spit something out or win this argument It's about understanding and seeing their point of view and and seeing their body language and understanding the whole perception of what's actually going on in this conversation rather than what we think is going on. So be able to give ourselves that time, that internal time to slow everything down. And again, we come back to that breath. So if you've got a nice calm breath that's going on, then you can elevate your stress, your heart rate and everything else be because everything's calm on the inside so you can run. So for me, 01:08:01.10 Damien Rider You know, like I run at a fairly fast pace, but I have like a slow breath, so everything still calm on the inside, or I can think very fast, but I don't get fatigued because my internals are nice and slow and calm. So I feel if your internals are calm, then your externals calm as well. So we're able to deal with situations that come up. Otherwise, you know, if we're panicking, we're shallow breathing, then everything's a panic as well. You know, in every situation that, 01:08:28.35 Damien Rider How we are in today's situation, how we're looking at things is how we look at things in the past with situations as well. If we're calm in our mind and what we're doing here in the present moment, then the situation that's in our head will look calm as well. If we're panicking and we're stressing out and we're fighting against life or anything, or even paddle boarding in an ocean, you're fighting against the ocean, then what's running around in our mind that'll be like a struggle as well. So how we deal with things now is how we look at things in the past as well. So the more that we can stay calm in that present moment, then what happened in our past is seems calm and it's able just to sir go away as well. So that just, we get satisfied with that and go, okay, we've dealt with that. 01:09:15.98 Damien Rider Things will keep coming up and they keep coming up and keep coming up But what we don't want to do is just start banking them up, you know We don't want to bank all these things up like I've got zero emotional attachment to what happened to me as a kid It's not because I block it. It's just not a part of my life anymore. So situations and and You know things that I deal with I deal with right now you know so I don't have all those layers of my past because I deal with situations as I come up and I need to have a conversation with someone I go and have a conversation and again you know we'll talk about before like what men are not doing and doing you know we're not having those conversations you know if something happens you know as a man I think we need to sit down and have a conversation it's been you know since the beginning of time all the the warriors and the chiefs of all the tribes you know they'll go and sit down 01:10:11.76 Damien Rider They'll talk and they'll either form an alliance, they share a gift in part ways, or they go to war. And that's what we need to do. And whatever outcome of those three things are, at least we know that it's settled and it's out of our head. you know So I encourage people, a lot of people now you know in the spiritual world, not you know I'm quite spiritual myself, but You know, they say, oh, avoid those things, just let it go. But if there's energy with one person, there's energy with both people. So it's not about letting it go. It's about having conversations, about stepping into it, and it's man, you know. buts that We sort of talked about it before, of just trying to shy away and trying to be soft about things. You know, it's not about being aggressive, or being, trying to be the alpha male. But it's about, you know, 01:11:00.82 Damien Rider understanding yourself and just really stepping into life and not shying away from it because all of these things they all add up to how we deal with every situation that comes up whether it's in a personal life or whether it's in business especially in relationships as well you know most times relationships don't work because you don't have a conversation you don't just sit down and talk you know when you start doing it you know you get the cold sweat fuck You don't like, it's not gone the way I wanted to, but the more you can practice it in all sorts of ways about having these conversations and about being able to use your voice as well and understand what you're saying, where it's coming from also. And you can really only do that when you do test and challenge yourself in, put yourself in different situations. So you do have that trust within yourself that what you were saying, you know, you know, and you know who you are. 01:11:57.79 Next Level Guy I love that. It's definitely something I need to work more on because when I'm in the zone, if I'm working on doing jujitsu and I'm cycling and I'm doing all this sort of stuff, I'm fine. The second I slip back, it becomes a nightmare and I can be thinking and having a conversation with you and i'll be thinking about an ex-girlfriend and how this conversation we had 10-15 years ago in my head to be putting out like it's all this so emotion in my body and that and i can remember at work sometimes doing that and i didn't know how to deal with it so i had this prison that i just kept carrying this round and 01:12:32.35 Next Level Guy And I love that attitude of just kind of absorbing it, dealing with it, stepping into it. Is this where the concept you were talking about of the difference between healthy stress and self-imposed pressure, it lets you focus on challenging yourselves, building that stress with the extreme challenges, but not dealing, letting all the pressure of life get to you. You're focusing only on the things that matter and not all the other noise that's about. 01:13:02.95 Damien Rider Yeah, I mean, stress gets a bad rap, but we need stress. That's how we keep on moving through life. So I think people get confused between the words of stress and pressure. The people will say, oh, you know, I'm so stressed at work, you know, I've got to get this. 01:13:17.26 Damien Rider You know, job tasks done or I'm going to get fired and I don't know, but that's not stress, that's pressure. So we build up the pressure and then creates more stress for ourselves. So if you think of like two ceilings, you're trying to push up the pressure and push up the stress, you're only going to be here. But for me, I just pop away all the pressure and push up the stress. That's how I'm able to do what I do, you know. 01:13:36.61 Damien Rider purposely put myself in stressful mental emotional situations and push my body to its extreme stress but i'm able to do that further than most people because i don't have that extra pressure and those those extra layers and what that pressure is is everything that we've heard all of our life that have just gathered up and weighing us down like it's something simple what we spoke a little bit about words before and it's just something simple about changing the words from you know, have a safe flight, to have a good flight. You know, why have a safe flight? That instantly is a negative, you know, so that person, even though it might seem endearing, that person's like, oh, fuck yeah, what happens if a plane goes down? Instead of just having a good flight, and then they don't think about it. So within yourself as well, like you're training yourself and them, and then as I was saying before, we got to catch ourselves in that moment. So even if you do say, have a safe flight, oh, you know what, I mean, have a good flight. 01:14:30.22 Damien Rider and and just change it so we start changing these words and what that does is start releasing those pressures so we can look at things a little bit more logical of everything and and going back to what I was saying like if you know if no one else has done it then I don't know it's possible but I don't know it's impossible until I just go and do it. 01:14:49.77 Damien Rider And that's all I know. you know So there's no pointing me having that extra pressure on or making out those extra voices in my head of what could happen. 01:14:53.59 Next Level Guy Well, that's that. 01:14:58.67 Damien Rider Because as we know you know, we sometimes build things up. And then when we actually do them, we go, oh, that wasn't that bad and after all. So if we look at everything like that, because we don't know anything until we go and do it. 01:15:11.67 Damien Rider And it's not about if someone else has gone and done it, because they're different to us. So it's about us going to do it, then we know, then we understand that's why we understand who we actually are. We get more authentic with ourselves and we find our voice. And I think that's important for people to really find their own voice. 01:15:33.88 Next Level Guy I love the way you look at stuff. I like i really wish you were like like ah teaching this in schools when I was younger because I think I would have been a completely different person because I've kind of found my way through with the podcast and kind of lumbering into things. And I'm going to try to use so much of this going forward. And I think from looking at your It's ah kind of like the power of the circle you mentioned. Because I've noticed that you would say you're going to do something. You create this unbreakable commitment to it. And you're you know you make a contract with yourself and the universe. You then go and do it. And then you start reverse engineering the goal of how you're going to do it. You see the bigger pitch, then go in your head. So you say, well, it can be done. This is how I'm going to do it. You use it as a kind like kind of meditative, 01:16:21.48 Next Level Guy tool while you're doing it as you're doing each of the challenges. Then you kind of review it and then you think okay this is what I've learned and use that as a next diving board into the next challenge you're going to take on. Is that how you sort of see it? Is it kind of ah a whole circle and it lets you kind of find out about yourself as you go through this circle of activities or like how do you set these goals or how do you see that version of you? 01:16:50.32 Damien Rider Yeah, I mean, you nailed it. 01:16:51.63 Next Level Guy I know I have a weird question. 01:16:53.51 Damien Rider Nah, yeah, you nailed it. That's exactly how I see things. you know I'll work backwards with it. I'll see what's see it first. No, I can do it. And then understand all the skills that I need to be able to achieve it. 01:17:06.12 Damien Rider And then instead of like, just trying to acquire all those skills and what do I do next? What do I do next? I just move that timeline, let's say down to now that I've already got all those skills and then I just start going towards it. 01:17:20.32 Damien Rider So for me, I'll know the checkpoints I need to achieve along the way already. And it's just about, and it's not about being, I don't get hyper focused. Like some people do or some coaches tell you to be hyper focused, focus on that goal, drive everything towards that goal, don't lose sight of it. For me, once that goal is solid and I've seen the clear vision of it, it's like letting the river flow. Like I just throw it in the river, I see it's going up there, that river's going to run. I ah don't need to be hyper focused on it. I just focus on everything else that's going on, but knowing that I have these checkpoints that I'll hit along the way, 01:17:58.60 Damien Rider And then that way I get to learn a hell of a lot more about myself along the way. 01:18:01.05 Next Level Guy Hmm. 01:18:03.00 Damien Rider And I'm not going into that tongue vision about getting something this one particular thing done. I know I've already done it in my head. I've already done it. So I know it's going to happen. So I don't need to go or drive everything there because again, I'm putting so much pressure on myself to do that. Instead of, I know I'm going to do that. Now let's just go towards all the steps towards it. I know the five steps I need to achieve along the way, but let's enjoy life along the way as well. And let's keep on learning along the way also. So, and then once I do that, once I again, you know, achieve that event, then and as you said, I, 01:18:38.47 Damien Rider look back and it takes me, depending on what sort of event it is, sometimes takes me a few days, sometimes takes me a few months. Let's say the first paddle. I did the 800 kilometer paddle. you know that's We're coming up 10 years, this January will be 10 years since I did that, but I'm still learning from it. you know There's still parts of it that I go, oh shit. you know and It's not until someone asked me a certain question that I haven't asked myself before, because we only know what we know, but we only know about what people ask us. you know and We know everything. 01:19:12.29 Damien Rider But if no one asks us, we don't know what we know, right? So it's not until someone asks me a certain question that I go, that I go, Oh, you know what? Give us a minute. Okay. Oh, here's the answer for that. I haven't thought about that before, but you know, you're right. This is what I did in this situation. Or this is how I got through this. Or this is how my mind was thinking. And then once I have that, then that becomes part of my arsenal and part of my toolkit ready to go into the next one. 01:19:37.81 Damien Rider So again, that levels me up, levels me up, levels me up. And again, it's not so you know' better than anyone else, but you know for me, it's just about competing against myself to get to the highest level that I can. you know Again, that's physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. you know There's a lot of things that I put aside for the last 10 years to be able to do what I do to be able to share with other people. And now I'm still like, I've gone back into doing events, but just doing it in a little bit different emotional sense, let's say, and a little bit different intention behind doing my events and really just bringing it back to me, just to doing what I love doing, you know, being in in nature and just feeling these experiences and being in that present moment. And, you know, like I was saying to that guy Daniel, who we did a recent paddle with, I said, 01:20:29.77 Damien Rider You know, people feel like in a present moment and feel grateful but they're very fleeting moments are really short lived, we're going to be feeling that for nine hours, no feeling present for nine hours, you know, so when you're in that state, your mind just goes to such creative senses just thinking about all sorts of different things that you don't normally think about again because you got that open space you got that time to yourself you already got that t trust you know what you're going to do you know what your goal is you're just going to say for us paddle across the golf we know that there's land over there so we don't really need to think about those things we just stay in that present moment and away we go so 01:21:10.60 Damien Rider You know, I share a lot of training aspects and talks and and mindset leading up to events, but when I'm doing an event, that's my time. You know, that's for me to just really take in that moment and be present with. 01:21:23.22 Next Level Guy Hmm. 01:21:24.24 Damien Rider And even, you know, I was talking to Daniel yesterday about it and it's just, you know, I do events and I share, but there's a lot of events that I don't share with anyone as well, because, you know, I just like to be in that present moment and just, 01:21:39.68 Damien Rider really enjoy what I'm doing you know sometimes when there's cameras around and stuff and it's not an ego sense but there's like you know making sure that the lighting's right and this is right and this looks good and I'm getting the right message out to everyone so it kind of takes a little bit of the magic out of it so you know for me I would rather do events that no one knows about you know just head out there and just start doing them you know and just really taking the environment and really getting in tune with myself and you know then all your ego drops away and it's just you and and what you're doing. And again, I think this is important for men especially to be able to do that. Go on and have time by yourself. Go on for a three day. 01:22:23.42 Damien Rider walk through the forest or whatever just you know be alone with your thoughts because we get so distracted that whatever's hanging on in there you know girlfriend from 15 years ago with the conversation that we should have had that's going to keep fucking running around your head and it's going to keep holding your back and it's going to keep popping up in your next sort of relationships as well until you can have some sort of understanding around it some sort of appreciation, acceptance and taking responsibility for your actions in it as well. As soon as we do take responsibility, then that's when we start to grow and that's when we start to learn about ourselves and we go, okay, we know what we need to change. And as you said, 01:23:03.26 Damien Rider You know, like guy I was saying, you can change in that time where we can. People can just get off this podcast now and just go, right, you know what? I don't like the person who I am, but this is who I want to be. And now this is who I am. 01:23:14.82 Damien Rider And again, it's not about I need to work towards being this person. 01:23:17.41 Next Level Guy Hmm. 01:23:18.22 Damien Rider I've got this five year goal to be able to do this. It's like, this is who I am. And just bring that timeline back down to now and just start being that fucking person. 01:23:29.71 Damien Rider You know, whether it's changing, you might have been happy saying hello to more people wishing people would say hello to you, but you know, you've just got to just get started. Don't wait for these stages. Just see who you want to be and just bring that down to who you are now. And you know, and there's a whole thing of fake it to you make it, but it's not that at all. You know, and it's not about manifesting or anything. It's just about knowing, like really just stepping into it and just having this knowing sense that, you know what, this is who I am. 01:24:00.37 Damien Rider And I'm proud to be who I am and just live in your own lane. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing. We've only got one life as far as we know. So we should just live it how we want to live it. And I'm worried about what anyone else is thinking about us or telling us how we should live life. And then when we can get into that state, you know, that's a, that's a scary state to be able to live in as well, because you know, you're in control of your life then. And when things come up, you know, you know that you can deal with it because you're doing it your 01:24:35.49 Next Level Guy I love that. I love the way I like it because initially when I saw your, you know, your like you did free diving, skydiving, I was like, how do you learn skills? You know, now it's like, oh, it's part of the journey. I need to do that. So I'm just going to learn it right next step. I need to do that. But that's I think the most important thing is. 01:24:54.63 Next Level Guy There's too many people living a life just now that's not their own making. They're too busy thinking about what happened to them and letting it define them by not not who they can be or what they can become. there And it's like that concept of the circle. 01:25:09.26 Next Level Guy you know, you by living life and doing stuff and achieving stuff, you're actually able to come to terms with your past to help others. Do you bring that into your life coaching? Is that the kind of approach by helping those people that you work with? Does it help you in a way do your challenges? Is it cathartic in a way because it lets you deal with everything? Or do you even think about those sort of events now? how How do you think you've changed as a person and how do you think it helps your life coaching the stuff you've done? 01:25:40.09 Damien Rider Yeah, I mean, look, I feel I'm a good life coach because I've lived life, you know, I've stepped into it. And again, you know, I haven't just gone and read books and watched YouTube clips to have my knowledge. For me, it was important to, you know, I got lied to a lot over the years. And, you know, the times that I was in the darkest places felt like I'd been put there from therapists that I'd gone and see who had I'm taking my hope from me by saying you know you have to deal with this you have to live with this for the rest of your life and all you can do is learn to manage it now that's taken the away hope from people as well saying that you know you gotta live with these fucking voices of visuals in your head for the rest of your life you think for me I'll sing and fuck that. 01:26:19.05 Next Level Guy Look, there. 01:26:25.35 Damien Rider How the hell can I live with this all my life, you know, with what I went through and what I'm seeing, what I'm hearing, fucking every day. How can I live with this, right? but That's not the case at all. Like, as I said, I don't have any emotional attachments. Two more parts. It's non-existent in in my life of who I am. and you know And it's same as like, sure I've done a whole lot of like cool events over the over the years, but I'm not defined by my events, but what I am is I'm the man from those events. So all of those experiences, that's who I am now. It's not those events make me. you know It's like everything that I've learned from those events is who I am now going forward as well. So you know in the last 10 years, I just, 01:27:11.38 Damien Rider You know, I didn't read any self-help books. I didn't watch YouTube clips. I didn't watch videos. I hardly went and saw any speakers, really, unless I was on stage. All I wanted to do was just learn all the information for myself and i had all these questions I wanted answers to. and I was gathering more questions from other people that just didn't seem to be answered I just wanted to go out and really find out for myself and you know not just try and get quick hacks from books or anything I really just wanted to know what I was saying was authentic and it was my words and it's come just from a a knowing place rather than I guess someone told me this or I've read this in a book 01:27:47.84 Damien Rider you know, but now afterwards, after I've had this time to reflect back on that last 10 years, now I'm doing so much reading and I'm doing courses and and everything, you know, diplomacy and psychology and everything as well, because Now it's about time for me to help me articulate all this information that I've gathered over the last 10 years as well. and know And again, it goes back to having those conversations, different conversations with people, but it's it's about learning now and being able to translate it better rather than taking someone else's words, but being able to look at their words and how they view things and go, okay, well, I can relate that to this situation I went through all these voices that I heard and everything that's happened to me in my life to be able to articulate it. Okay. Now I have a better understanding of everything as well to the game. What we said before, you know, you only know what you know, but you only know by questions that are being asked or what you're learning along the way as well. So I've kind of gone the other way. A lot of people, you know, they learn all these things and then they go out and experience them and put them to the test. I put myself to the test first and now I'm learning what I already know. 01:28:58.97 Damien Rider So that's why the paddle keeps on teaching me along the way, just because you know no one's asking me those questions or I haven't read these things. you know I know things that change internally for me and externally, but it's about what what is it that has changed. So it's um yeah for me, it's it's always an exciting time and I just love to learn and be able to share with other people. 01:29:23.24 Damien Rider um ah really good coach just because, you know, I have had those experiences and I've had gone through a lot, you know, I've had them millions of dollars, I've lost and millions of dollars, I've travelled the world, I've put myself into crazy situations, I've had relationships, I've had, you know, a kid, I've had, you know, divorce, I've gone through all of these things, you know, that the violence and my know in my life, the addictions, everything, you know, has set me up to have really an understanding of you know, what someone else is going through. And it's not about putting myself in those situations, but it's about knowing the tools that I've learned along the way. And also that I've gathered and shared with, you know, we're talking tens of thousands of people, you know, I've traveled around the world and I've facilitated over 300 wellness retreats. I've traveled across the US talking to people from youth detention centers, correctional facilities, HIV, positive people, LGBTQ community, 01:30:21.09 Damien Rider People who've been involved in dumb violence in schools, to war veterans, to child abuse, you name it. I've gone through everything. I've washed homeless people's feet and given them shoes just so I could sit there and listen to them and how they got in that situation and just trying to find out you know what it actually is that people want in life and what's common with everyone no matter what sort of trauma that they've gone through. you know So my research hasn't just been written books. It's been out there really listening to the people on the streets and just having a better understanding of us and where we're all connected and how this is all similar and how we're getting the situation and what keeps us going and what do some people check out and and others don't who have gone through similar situations as well. So, man, it's really just about gathering as much information as I can. As I said, you know, in the last year, I've just been consolidating all of that information, you know, tens of thousands of voices. And, you know, it's been hard as well. Like I had a moment recently when I was in Dallas and 01:31:19.89 Damien Rider it just Everything just piled onto me. like Because I don't close things off, I had to keep all these say stories like horrific stories and everything that I've seen and done over the years as well. I stored all of this in my body so I can start to consolidate it and and understand the patterns of everyone as well. so When I was in Dallas recently, I had like a Let's say not an overload, but there was like a real heightened senses of what was going on in my life and all these voices and everything that I'd heard, you know, tens of thousands of voices and visuals. And she just came through to me, like flooded me out of control, flooded me, you know, that I was like dealing with at the time. And it took about 12 hours for me to. 01:32:07.74 Damien Rider try and sort through all that shit and just really purge it all out. But coming through it, you know, I had such a growth from it and such an understanding of all these people and came back here to Australia and just really calm myself down and changed everything that oh how I was thinking and looking at life. And it really got rid of, you know, there's a lot of shit that goes on in the world that most people don't realize, you know, a lot of things that I've seen. 01:32:33.74 Damien Rider that would make your stomach just fucking turn. right But you know for me, so so it was sometimes hard for me not to have silly and little anger inside of me of what happens not to me, but to everyone else. And I'm a warrior, a protector, and a provider, and that's who I am naturally. So for me, I've always been like that, and I've always felt an urge to protect other people as well and that's probably comes from my upbring and 01:33:04.17 Damien Rider not been able to protect myself and my family So I've always built myself to be, you know, a bit of a warrior to take everyone else's pain as well. But now after this like recent purge, let's say. 01:33:18.62 Damien Rider Now I've just gone back more into my spiritual sense and and got such a more open heart internally and externally as well. So now, as I said, I'm still going back into these events, but looking at it very differently and just being able to really share the love and positivity of life as well. 01:33:35.37 Damien Rider now that I've had that 10 years of gathering all the information of shit that was going on, while I'm still experiencing cool shit as well, but I've said a lot of like darkness happens in the world, but being able to now filter that out, understand it, and just go forward with life, and it's, again, not to say on the full gallelujah, that everything's beautiful in life, but really just be able to show people that next level as well you know like i don't dwell upon my past and i unless someone asks me about it i rarely talk about it as well it's not because i try and shut it out it's just because my life's moved forward from that so i want to show that in my audience and people who follow me as well that life is amazing you can still keep on going and that's why i keep doing different events because 01:34:16.22 Next Level Guy Okay. 01:34:23.13 Damien Rider You know, people say, oh, it's okay for him. He's an athlete, but I can't do that stuff. But when they see me continually doing things, then, you know, it kind of takes the excuses out of their life of why they're just sitting there, well, in their own shit from something that happened 30 years ago now is what they can. 01:34:40.69 Damien Rider you know live for now and as we said you know you can change your life at any moment and you just get up and just go you know what that doesn't bother me anymore that's got no existence for me anymore and we're moving forward and one of the big things as well like I was thinking about the other day is you know the people get stuck on this you've got to forgive and always get asked you know do you forgive these people now there's some things that happen in life you're just unforgivable you know it's no point in trying to fucking forgive someone because you're just going to beat yourself up about it but what we can do i think that words use incorrectly i think what people are trying to do is just have an understanding understanding why people do these things to us about understand that everyone is different that again you know going back to 01:35:25.56 Damien Rider We don't know what happened to someone in their childhood as well. you know So it's about having, it's not about forgiveness in some things, it's just about understanding that we are all different. And that's why arguments happen as well because someone's done something that we would have done a different way instead of just having an understanding that we're all fucking different you know and accepting those people for who they are. And then it's up to us, you know our responsibility or our accountability to either have that person in our life or not. 01:35:55.80 Damien Rider know put Take them off the Christmas card list, put them at arm's length or just get them out of our life. you know That's our choice. But again, you it's about having an understanding that we're ah we are all different. like people don't understand why I do what I do, they go, you fucking mental. But then I look at someone who's working nine to five sitting in an office and go, well you're fucking mental as well. So it's just about understanding who you are and understanding that everyone's different, if everyone does things differently and and that's fine. so And for me, you know that was a big thing about it as well and not trying to. 01:36:28.40 Damien Rider live up to the Jones's and trying to be like anyone else. Just understand, you know, and just embracing, you know, I do things my way and that's it. It's not to say I've got the way because we' only there's only one thing where we know in life is no one knows if they're doing it right. 01:36:43.82 Damien Rider that which No one knows at all. So we just got to do it our way. 01:36:46.83 Next Level Guy No, there's no report card to there. 01:36:49.92 Damien Rider Yeah. So long as we're we're happy with how we're doing it, well, then that's the right way. 01:36:58.09 Next Level Guy I mean, I seriously respect that. I think that's why you're so successful is you're not just telling people how to do things. You're actually showing them and you're just going, nope, there's no limitations. This is what I'm going to do. that I've said I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And you just do it. And then you kind of use that as a way to grow as a person. how How do you deal with when it is getting a lot or you've dealt with like you know when you're paddling and it made you come to terms with a bad thing that happened or you've jumped off a office ah balloon and you think, holy hell, that's amazing. Do you journal? Do you write this down or do you just kind of put it into your toolbox and say, 01:37:40.42 Next Level Guy that's the bit I want to take, the feeling I've been here, okay, next step. how How do you use this? Like the good, the bad, like what if somebody's listening to this and thinking that I'm the bad person, that I did this bad thing or i did I didn't have this so I don't have that to deal with or how yeah how How can they... I don't want to transfigure it to suit their life if that they were the bad person, if they were the good person or the person who's not had enough life experience yet? if you don't and how How can we... Do you personalise that kind of approach, do you think? Is it possible or is it we're on our own journey and we have to find it? 01:38:25.13 Damien Rider No, look, I mean, that's what coaches are for. You know, coaches, ah ah hopefully they've been there before, so they know how to guide you, but it's not about like, I don't tell people what they should do. I just suggest tools along the way for them to use and put into practice, but it's about really having giving them that understanding within themselves and building up that self trust of that they're going to be okay, because ultimately that's what we want to do So there's like certain foundations of life that we all have, you know, we have a connection of breath, connection to ourselves and knowing that time keeps moving forward and we have to keep moving forward. So as long as we have that foundation to come back down to, then we've got ah like a new baseline. So whenever she hits the fan, as long as we can come back down to that and go, right. 01:39:12.19 Damien Rider take our breath. All right, I've got to get myself through this. All right, let's just taking those let's start taking those steps. And you just get started walking again with it. But i am people who who are, you know, consider themselves bad people, they've really just got to have a look at what made them like that to start off with, you know, and just have an acceptance around that and acceptance is a really big thing, you know, because there's a lot of things that just cannot be changed, you know, and it's accepting that, you know, you may have done some bad shit in your life, but if you don't want to be that person, then just don't be that person. 01:39:34.26 Next Level Guy Hmm. 01:39:47.30 Damien Rider Just start making the changes towards it and start understanding who it is that you actually want to be for yourself, not for everyone else as well. And that's a big thing too. You know, everyone's trying to be a people pleaser and you know how they should show up to the world and you know social media is just full of that as well you know how people want to see them but that's really not who they are behind closed doors as well you know so it's about again coming being being able to trust yourself and and really that's the biggest thing that everyone's trying to achieve is just that self-trust you know if i traveled around the world and i asked people you know what's important to you or what do you think is important to other people and most people say 01:40:08.63 Next Level Guy So true. 01:40:28.30 Damien Rider Financial freedom, love, relationships, good hair, good car. But unless you have the trust, you're not gonna be able to achieve any of those things. And all those things, they're unmeasurable as well, really. you know like It's just like saying, I wanna be rich, I wanna be beautiful. What does that actually look like? But when you have that trust, when that's ah that's the goal that you're working towards, then it's measurable because you can put yourself in different situations and go, you know what, I handled that differently this time. like I trusted myself to get through that. I trusted myself to take this challenge on. I trusted myself to go and ask that girl out on a date. 01:41:04.17 Damien Rider You know, so really that's what we're aiming to do. And even with the financial freedom, or if you don't trust yourself, then you're not going to take the risks to have that financial freedom as well. How are you going to find love if you don't trust yourself to fall in love? You know, and a lot of people don't as well. that That's quite a big thing. And it was for me as well. 01:41:21.99 Damien Rider you know, to fall in love. And, you know, when I was coming through, let's say some, some dark times and, you know, let's see beautiful girl and start talking to her and she'd be happy. I would think, you know, my biggest fear was shit. Like, what if I can't get that happy? This is what I know I want to achieve. But what if I can't get that happy? So I would like sabotage it. Sabotage relationship because I was fearful within myself that it was being happy like that, like they were showing they were. 01:41:52.74 Damien Rider I didn't know if that was possible for me through what I'd been through, you know, all the hurt and hatred and violence that all that was running around in my body and in my mind. How could I get that happy? You know, so I would sabotage these things. But it was about understanding and really just viewing the world around me and thinking about why are they happy? You know, what's, what are they doing that I'm not doing? So really starting to, you know, look at human behavior as well of, you know, of how I wanted to be in life and how I wanted to, 01:42:23.56 Damien Rider be moving forward and and be able to remove all this hurt and hatred and anger that I had inside me as well. A lot of people, especially men, we just carry that around because we don't have these conversations, but it's not just about having the conversations, it's about putting action to it. you know It's not just about talking to someone, it's about really putting. 01:42:43.82 Damien Rider You know, understanding the actions and the movements that we need for ourselves and making those changes because, you know, as we know, there's no one coming to rescue us. It's just us. You know, it's everything's up to us. No matter what, what it is that we're going to do or who we want to be, everything comes down to us. and I think the hardest part for people when they are making changes is people from their past thinking of them as they were from the past as well and not thinking that they can, that they have changed. 01:43:14.44 Next Level Guy Yeah. 01:43:14.96 Damien Rider So whenever I see someone from my past, I don't look at them as who they were. I remember our cool stories and stuff, but I don't look at them who they were. I take them as who they are now, and I just see who they are now. you know Are they still doing the same things, or are they a completely different person? And I'm able to do that because I know I've changed. I know I'm a different person. so why wouldn't they be as well even if they were fuckwi back in the past doesn't mean out now 01:43:46.66 Damien Rider knows what's happened in that time. You know, so I just take people as are now. And I was talking about this with a girl the other day, and it's funny with like relationships, it seems to be that, you know, a lot of women get scorned from relationships. 01:44:01.37 Damien Rider So they kind of like they go into it and guys just get it fucking tough because when we go into a relationship with them, they're thinking about every other guy that's fucked them over and then looking for you to do the same thing. 01:44:06.14 Next Level Guy about those. 01:44:15.11 Damien Rider You know, it's so it's kind of like we're on the back foot to start off with and we're like, shit, i I'm not even doing these things. Like but they're like picking something. 01:44:21.28 Next Level Guy o 01:44:22.53 Damien Rider Oh, you're doing this. It's like, I'm actually not doing that at all. And then when you start having these things and these issues start coming about. But I think most guys, for myself anyway, you know, if I go into a new relationship, 01:44:35.49 Damien Rider then that's a new, that's fresh for me. We start from scratch and this is a new person. I'm a new person from what I've learned from the last one as well. you know So I think we need to be able to view ourselves and everyone else out and not think of who we were in the past, but who we are now and who that person is in front of us now, like get more back into that. 01:44:59.61 Damien Rider beautiful present state, you know, and continually keep on evolving and, you know, reading and learning and, you know, just do lots of courses, even if you're doing coaching courses, like an Ikigai course or a shamanic practitioner course or something. And it's not about being wanting that as a career, but it's about applying all those methods onto yourself first, you know, and just learning. Cause if you're not learning from someone else and people around you, cause you're only as good as you are with the people around you, you need to learn from outside sources as well. And then that, that way you start to make these changes. And soon as you start making little changes in your life, everything else just starts to change as well. You know, but if you just stay in the same, 01:45:43.62 Damien Rider You know, you're the same job, go drink at the same pub, the same lots of mates. Well, how's anything going to change? You know, you really need to make those changes, whether they're big or small. 01:45:52.55 Next Level Guy no 01:45:53.28 Damien Rider Like I make big changes. I go, oh fuck, I'm moving countries. what I'm doing this, I'm doing that. You know, I make quite big changes because I want to level up and level up and level up. quite extremely you know it I've always been like that you know just to get the most that I can out of it and again it's just I'm not it's not like I'm in a rush but I'm just getting busy living I just want to experience all that I can and and just still live in the present moment but just have these experiences for myself and then how I can articulate that and share that with other people so you know again you know men just need to be stepping out of their comfort zone a lot and just 01:46:31.42 Damien Rider taking on new challenges and just having fun with it and just exploring themselves of of who they are and who they want to be and yeah if you're not happy with who you are or the situation you're in just change it because and don't wait just fucking do it now. 01:46:45.68 Damien Rider you know, there's no need to wait for anything, even if you don't have money. And I get that with people all the time, you know, well, if I have this amount of money, I'm going to be able to do this, but just be that person now, even if you don't have money. You know, so an example of that is when I was, I was living in one city and I was making a lot of money. I had like a skincare company and then I was, but I didn't know what result I wanted out of it. I was like, Oh, what's, 01:47:12.60 Damien Rider What's my end game with this? Why am I making all this money? And then I was like, all right, well, if I make all this money in five years time, I'm going to be able to move back to the Gold Coast and go move straight back from the beach and be able to go in the water and go surfing again and just be able to train and have a good life. And I thought, well, what am I waiting for? If that's what I want, just go and do it now. So I left like the next day the city I was in and moved and started doing that and living that life that I wanted to right there and then. 01:47:39.95 Damien Rider You know, there's no point in waiting through the game. We don't know how long we're here for. So why wait? Why have this like five year plan that we're trying to work towards? We still have goals up ahead for sure. But, you know, just bring that person who you want to be now. Just be that person now and live where you want now. Because if that's why you want to work towards, then just be it. You know, the money and everything will come from it, you know, but just. 01:48:04.18 Damien Rider You know, live how you want, where you want, with who you want. Now, I think, you know, I think that's kind of the, I guess, the best advice that I can give people and that's what I do with my coaching, just allow people to see that a little bit better and see more within themselves and really just eliminate all those walls of doubt that are holding them back and all the fears as well. Like everyone has fears, like I work with some of the best coaches in the world as well and billionaires all over the world and elite athletes and You know, they've all got fear and they've all got this doubt that's holding them back. So it's just been about to understand what that is and where they're holding it. And I just have this knack to be able to put them in situations that just eliminate that as well. 01:48:50.68 Damien Rider Worked with a client over in Dallas when I was over there and shared autoimmune disease, which is meant to be impossible to cure. It took me 10 days and it's gone. So just been up to look at things just in a completely different way that again, because I've been up to do all these events and I don't look at anything as impossible. so I just look at, okay, this is the result that we want out of it. This is how we're going to get there. So the same thing, same way I do events I do with clients as well. Most people don't know the results that they want out of it, that I can see what they're missing and the result that I think that they want to achieve. And truly it's hot, ends up being higher than what they expected anyway, because again, most people have this self limitations 01:49:35.13 Damien Rider of what their boundaries are, probably eliminate boundaries. And I did that a long time ago. You know, people used to say, not and I say as well, we used to say, you know, it's about pushing the boundaries. I do these things to push the boundaries. But I thought, why am I pushing the boundaries? It sounds like I'm pushing the same boundaries every time I go into a event. Why not just fucking get rid of the boundaries so they're not there. 01:49:55.21 Damien Rider So for me, I just eliminate the boundaries and then just live openly, you know, and just explore everything in life and store all that knowledge and skills that I have and not have to go through all that again and not go through all the mindset. And, you know, a lot of people ask, you know, how do you Train your mindset to be able to do one of these events. Well, I don't train my mindset at all I just go and do them because again and it works limitations those doubts and those voices and that pressure It's just not there for me at all. I just don't doing it I'm able to do that because I have that self-trust because I've been able to one look back at everything that I've done in my life and and everything that I've overcome. And then in recent times, the events that I've done as well, and I've been able to achieve. So there is no reason for me to have those doubts. And because I don't have the doubts, I'm able to push up the stress levels as well and in a more controlled way. So when I work with clients, I understand that and I can push their threshold up a lot further than what they think they can. And even with, you know, going back to this guy, Daniel, 01:51:08.35 Damien Rider We spoke the other day and there's a couple of events that I've got coming up and one of them's in the ocean again and it's going to be quite big and there's a lot of sharks in this particular part of the ocean and I'm going to see a lot of big white pointers along the way. 01:51:25.00 Damien Rider But, you know, there's, I know I'm okay out there, but I know he's probably not going to be. So I said to him, you know, there might be a couple of days that you join me on it, but some days that you won't as well. So I'll always push you further than what you think you can out of yourself. But I won't put you into situations that it's going to be too much for you or you're going to be in danger for it. So. 01:51:48.59 Damien Rider You know, I'm not stupid and reckless. When I work with clients, I understand their threshold, but also understand like I've been a coach for 30 years. So I understand where people's thresholds are better than they do as well. 01:52:04.35 Next Level Guy lot I love that it's a beautiful way of looking at things, you know, that you're not holding grudges, you're kind of, you're using that concept of life as a circle on them as well, that they've probably grown and developed and you're bringing that into teaching with your clients. And it kind of leads into what do you want the the evolution of your brand to be? You know, are you taking clients on because you'll have inspired, motivated, 01:52:29.50 Next Level Guy encouraged people that there they can change their viewpoints and their starting points. Are you currently taking people on? Are you writing new books? um what What can people do to work with you in that sense? 01:52:43.93 Damien Rider Yeah, I mean, I take clients on, I don't take a lot on, you know, cause when I work with someone, then I'm a hundred percent devoted to them. So I don't take, take many on, you know, really take on that. 01:52:57.81 Damien Rider you know, the whole essence of who that client is and what they want as well. So sometimes I do live in experiences and just have a complete transformations or some online stuff. But yeah, look for me, there's probably, I mean, I'll write another couple of books, but I've written enough books at the moment to be able to now just, you know, live how I want. I'll still keep doing events. I love doing talks as well. But yeah, like I take clients on definitely so people can reach out to 01:53:29.26 Next Level Guy Well, it's listening to your TED talk, the other. And ah yeah I loved your TED talk, you know, yeah, it's ah it's amazing how you just, oh, yeah, and then this is some of the stuff I've done and people, you can see the crowd going, you did what? 01:53:45.71 Next Level Guy As you're listing off your like yeah your extra your challenges and they're like, what what do you mean you did a marathon with it on your back? What do you mean you told this? what And it's that moment of, you can see in your face, it's like, OK, maybe I'm not. Maybe this isn't normal. But your TED talks, what are you going to do more of those? 01:54:05.71 Damien Rider Look, you know, Ted talks are good. I like I like doing Ted talks because you've only got eight to 13 minutes for most of them. So you've really got to nail it down to the topic that you're talking about and and get that out there. But yeah, I mean, I don't really think too much about all of my events I've done until it comes up or like we're doing a podcast you know quite presently but I just gather all that knowledge of who I am now from what I've done and and keep going forward but yeah look I love doing talks and I love Q&A's after the talks as well and really you know starting to answer questions for people that they really want to know but my favorite part of when I do talks is 01:54:50.47 Damien Rider I like to do the talks, I like the Q&As, but I like the questions afterwards when the events finish and the people come up and ask really deep questions. you know And then that's where I have just some incredible conversations with people of what they want to learn and understand. But you know I love doing that and I love working with clients as well. And I've been doing it for over 30 years now, like on a physical sense, in the mental sense, emotional sense. 01:55:18.86 Damien Rider work with females as well, getting them more into that divine feminine space and helping men to understand what their masculine space is and how they should be, you know, as a man and what we've lost as well to be able to be a protector and provider and be able to trust themselves as well. And, you know, to be able to just be like good men as well. And I think that's, we're starting to lose a lot of that. And we touched on that a little bit earlier, but the world's starting to lose that and the men are getting quite confused of you know how they should be and where is their role in life now and but you know we can't deny that the natural sense and the primal sense of males and females and you know how we should be but you know again with this fast-paced world people are getting more 01:56:09.53 Damien Rider Let's say just thinking about themselves and it's okay to be selfish on some aspects of it, but when you're talking about relationships, then and it's got to be that compromise and understanding and still true to yourself and not lose yourself in that relationship, but be able to look at each other and just see what you can add, how you can add value to that relationship as well. And then how that other person can fill in what you're missing also. 01:56:34.74 Damien Rider as well you know it's not just about finding someone who mirrors you, it's about someone who's going to test and challenge you and allow you to level up and hold that space and you'd be comfortable and trusting within yourself to be able to hold that space for your partner as well. So she can step into a more divine feminine self as well. And, you know, then you start to create a beautiful open relationship with each other. So I think that's, you know, something that's definitely missing with men and it's not being taught in school as well of how we are in these relationships and and there's a lot of 01:57:07.99 Damien Rider is not an all-time high at the moment with everyone, you know, and people aren't staying together. They don't know how to, but if you have a look at the old people, you know they're being together for like 50 years and that, but now it's like you're together for 50 days and it's like, that's pretty, you've done pretty well. 01:57:24.16 Damien Rider hi So but again, you know, it's about coming back to that trust. 01:57:27.01 Next Level Guy It's like it's a hardship isn't it? 01:57:29.39 Damien Rider It is. It is, you know but it's about both. that you know The men have to just really step into that. like Women will naturally test their man. That's just the nature of the beast with it, but it's about how we act and react to be able to hold that space for that person as well and be able to work through and understand you know how important they are for us. and you know i'd say and If you break up and You know, it's not about just welling things around in your head, but it's about giving each other that time and that space because just because it didn't work now it doesn't mean it won't work, you know, later on, or you can't have some sort of relationship with them or some sort of relations with them that you be able to be friends. I think there's probably only, you know, maybe three or four women who are 01:58:20.04 Damien Rider been with in my life who I'm probably not friends with. I'm friends with all of the rest of them. You know, it's about, I feel it comes down to them just seeing me being consistent, you know, and they just see me that I'm continually doing what I'm doing. and You know, it just wasn't our time and that's fine. 01:58:38.84 Damien Rider And there was shit that I needed to do and things I need to find out. And I was on, you know, my purpose and my focus to be able to do that. 01:58:43.78 Next Level Guy Hmm. 01:58:45.50 Damien Rider And it just didn't align at that time. And it doesn't mean that either of us are bad people from that. It's just. wasn't you know, there was something not right there and all we learned what we needed to out of the situations and the lessons that each of us taught us and how we dealt with our emotions and everything as well or things from our past because But I understand like a lot of the times people are carrying things like an ancestry as well. You know, it's not just what we've been through, but it's what our parents have been through, our grandparents, our great, great grandparents, everything just gets sort of passed on to us also. You know, so it's about having an understanding of those things and breaking those cycles. And it's up to us, you know, to 01:59:28.33 Damien Rider really have a look at ourselves have a look at what people are saying about us and is that you know is that factual or is it just on them you know let's have a look at that and not just be no that's fucking you that's not right you know it may not be right but let's have a look at it like why are they actually saying this as well you know so it's really about not having that hard judgment on yourself and not beating yourself up, but just observing yourself of what you're actually doing and have that more self awareness of everything that you are and I feel. 01:59:59.67 Damien Rider The best way to do that is by doing these type of events and tests and challenges, you know, for yourself, because you do give yourself that time and you are putting yourself in physical, mental, emotional stress and trauma purposely to find out more about yourself and how you get through it. And the more that you do that, then, you know, the better life is and the more that you can deal with situations and, you know, the more events that I was doing, that's what I found, you know, I was listening to people around me and they're just bickering and complaining about all sorts of shit that I felt I used to back in the day. But I don't now because they just don't bother me. So life just sort of is not like it gets easier, but you just get through things a lot quicker. 02:00:45.34 Next Level Guy And is that what you would say to people listening? is the Because you mentioned there about you know the the the need to be a good man in life. What would you define that as, as a good man? you know Is that the overarching mission, do you think, we should all have in life as a man? To be a good man? Or how how would you define, or how would we know, achieve that? 02:01:07.40 Damien Rider Well, look, I mean, a good man for me is good morals, intentions, and purpose. You know, we have strong on our purpose. So long as we're not harming anyone else around us, we'd be kind to people, but kind doesn't mean being weak as well. You know, we're again, we're we're still natural warriors also. So we should be protectors and providers. We should be able to help other people. And you know, for me, it's just about, 02:01:35.98 Damien Rider understanding that, you know, I could punch someone in the face and knock them out if they'll smart us to me, but I'll pick them up with the other hand as well. You know, so I don't need to, so I don't need to have a bravado. 02:01:48.20 Damien Rider I don't need to walk into a room and puff my chest out or anything like that. 02:01:49.57 Next Level Guy yeah 02:01:52.50 Damien Rider Like I know what I can do and you know, but I don't need to pronounce it to anyone as well. You know, it's just about being a bit more humble in life as well. 02:02:03.58 Damien Rider and But if it's calls for it, calls for it. And as I said, you know, those choices in life are either going to form an alliance, we're going to part ways or we're going to fight, you know, and just we don't go looking for it. But, you know, I think as a good man, it's about knowing what you can do, but you choose not to do it. You know, there's a big difference between that and cowards that just try and lash out at people. 02:02:28.60 Damien Rider all the time and try and act tough and talk a whole lot of shit. It's about not talking all that shit. you know It's just about knowing who you are and having that confidence and trusting in it. 02:02:36.67 Next Level Guy Hmm. 02:02:40.47 Damien Rider And then that way we don't have you know we don't have that jealousy and we don't have that controlling aspect over our partner as well. We they were able to listen to them and if the situation doesn't suit us it's not about you know thinking that you have to stay in there as well it's about do I want to stay in this is this suiting me or is this time for me to leave but again it's about you know as a good man that's what we need to do we need to be able to trust ourselves in their do to handle our business we don't complain about money or anything like that we just if we need more money we just go out and fucking do it you know we don't wait for handouts from other people we just pull our socks up and we just get out and we get get it done whatever we need to get done and you know we be who we should be you know and it's not just about talking and trying to have like 02:03:31.74 Damien Rider everyone like us at all you know it's just about having a core group of people around you it's about being loyal and trustworthy and and being able to project those things and i think if you can do that and have those good models and the intentions with yourself then you start to become what a good man is you know and and once you like that and then you can find the right woman as well you know been I think when you've got two people like that, then that's when you know you start moving into a different aspect of your life as well. Having that trust and having that someone someone there who you know you can trust as well to be able to share things with, and but it's not about 02:04:14.09 Damien Rider you know, just having someone there and now you've got to unload all your shit all the time and all your emotions and all that sort of stuff. But it's about, you know, making sure that you're holding space and being strong for them. But, you know, if something does come up that, you know, are able to have those conversations and then be able to keep going. You know, so a lot of people, a lot of men these days, because I don't know how to deal with emotions, as soon as they get a girlfriend who starts listening to stuff, then they want to just tell them everything all the time, ah, and all these problems and everything. 02:04:44.46 Damien Rider fucking talk about your problems, just go and sort it out. Just go and get it done. Don't start relying on other people to to do everything for you. You still got to stand strong as a man and you still got to walk tall and be proud of who you are. And I think you know those sorts of things, if you can trust yourself and be proud of who you are, then you start looking at the right side of of what a good man is and not just a nice guy you don't be nice guy i don't think you know 02:05:19.41 Next Level Guy I knew you were going to be good, but I did think it would be in this level of good. I would love to have you back on. I know I've used up far too much your time already, but what would you want to take from this? What do you want people to kind of take as an overarching mindset, a focus, a goal for the next six weeks or the last quarter of the year? How would you want them to kind of start adopting these teachings going forward. 02:05:48.74 Next Level Guy Is it a way to summarise this or is it just jump off a, you know, climb up your own balloon and jump off? 02:05:57.37 Damien Rider Well, um I mean, in a sense, that's kind of what it is, you know? 02:05:59.18 Next Level Guy Because I'll do it. I'm stupid enough. 02:06:01.03 Damien Rider Yeah, I mean, it's just, look, have your goals, understand who you are, have that time now, go for a walk down the beach, go for a walk through the forest, just have that time by yourself to really reflect on what it actually means that, you know, you want to Be who you want to be and what you want to do in life and then just start making those changes towards it. Focus on your breath and she hits the fan. Just focus on the calm breath. Breathe in through your nose, all the way down your belly. Hold for a beat and just let it slowly come out through your mouth. Once you do that, just relax your face. Calm your breathing down from inhale to exhale and just focus only on that. 02:06:38.12 Damien Rider and then that should get you through pretty much most things and that's a good foundation anyway to be able to start moving forward and then start looking at your goals and look at your icky guy as well you know what's your passion and your purpose and what you can make money from you know and just have that as like a normal baseline to be able to keep on going forward and you know again just be a good man don't try and please everyone just you know just be a good man 02:07:09.26 Next Level Guy Well, until I can get you on again, I'd love to do. There's areas of questions I would like to go into, which are probably podcasts on their own. and But I mean, you are a sensational guy. You've changed so many people's lives. You've inspired so many of your goals and your life coaching. and the challenges you do and I ah knew this is what I needed to kickstart my own sort of journey into life was by speaking to you because you've done all these things, you've broken all the kind of bullshit chains hold of complacency that hold people back. 02:07:40.73 Next Level Guy You've made people realize they can change and just go and do it. And all the stuff that they're like they're talking themselves out of it is complete noise. They just need to know the difference between pressure and stress. And I'd love to have you on again. And I hope you've had as much fun as I have. But how can people follow this journey? Because I'd love to see you doing courses, TED Talks, and you know these kind of mentor groups where like people can like live talks and stuff. How can we follow this amazing journey that you're on? 02:08:11.94 Damien Rider Yeah, thanks, Ben. I'll definitely come back on again. It's been great. And fucking congratulations. I didn't say it at the start, but congratulations on the podcast as well. I mean, you're fucking doing it. You know, it's just, it's a tough thing as well to be able to do that. 02:08:25.50 Damien Rider So, you know, 02:08:26.58 Next Level Guy Thank you. 02:08:27.28 Damien Rider so many people just stop you know think oh this is going to be easy i'll just like do a podcast and they do like one or two and go shit what do i do now you know so hats off to you for whatever you do for you doing it right and it's the same process so for you to be able to do this podcast 02:08:36.49 Next Level Guy Yeah. Well, funny enough, funny with ah you should be doing one. 02:08:45.70 Damien Rider I've always thought I can keep getting tired, but I keep moving around too much. So I'm just like, kind of just carrying my equipment everywhere. You know, so I mean, one day I'll settle down, I guess, and I'll start doing it, but I'm just got a focus out somewhere else. 02:08:53.01 Next Level Guy and 02:08:57.60 Damien Rider But you know, the process that you're going through or went through to decide to do a podcast and then to keep on going, that's the same process to get through anything in life as well. It's all, it's all the same. 02:09:09.25 Damien Rider You just got to move it across from here to there. Same process, same mental aspect of it. or podcast what or why you just quit? You know, yeah you obviously haven't quit doing podcasts. 02:09:20.79 Damien Rider So, you know, you find more people and you find more ways and you learn more things and, you know, you learn different equipment to use and how to be more efficient with it and different apps and everything to use for it as well. 02:09:33.16 Damien Rider It's all exactly the same process, no matter what you're going through life, whether it's a relationship or jumping off a balloon or whatever it may be. It's exactly the same process. So you've already got the tools for it. You've just got to shift those tools from one to another. it's just You're not learning how to do things here, how to do things here, how to do things here. They're just different job tasks of how you learn things in life. 02:09:56.04 Damien Rider you know people separate all these things out of life but it's all just fucking one life and it's just different job tasks so you don't need to relearn how to deal with stress here relearn how to deal with stress there it's just the same stress same pressure that's exactly the fucking same you know so maybe just think about that in the audience as well you know whatever you're doing whether it's in business or whatever it's the same fucking process no matter what you're going through you just get to practice it more when you understand it like that 02:10:05.04 Next Level Guy Yeah. 02:10:20.72 Damien Rider But people can just follow me on on Instagram. I've got a good event coming up on on January 3rd, which marks 10 years since my first paddle. And I'll be going down the same course as well. in the ocean for 800 kilometres. So that'll be fun. And I've got one over in the Maldives and then and in the US as well. So there's a few big ones coming up at the start of the year. But yeah, if anyone wants to reach out, they can reach out any time I reply to everyone. And so I want to do some coaching and just jump on a call and have and start seeing what it is and seeing how I can help you and start moving forward. But yeah, man, I'd love to jump on again and have another podcast with you. 02:11:00.72 Next Level Guy so 02:11:25.53 Next Level Guy I'll have